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No, Guys, ‘Real Men’ Aren’t Always Up for Sex
As parents get their kids ready for college, many will sit down with their daughters to discuss the serious issue of sexual assault on campus. This conversation is essential—after all, the headlines about the prevalence of these incidents are hard to ignore. However, it’s crucial to recognize that young men face their own set of challenges during this time, according to Dr. Jake Thompson, a physician specializing in adolescent health. He points out that college can be a time of “unprecedented sexual vulnerability” for guys too.
In a revealing piece for Pacific Standard, Dr. Thompson notes that while the conversation around male-on-female sexual assault is often highlighted, male-on-male incidents are well documented. In fact, the National Crime Victimization Survey from 2013 revealed that 38% of reported sexual assaults involved men, with women responsible for 46% of those assaults. Sadly, many cases of sexual violence against boys and young men go unreported due to the myth that “real men” are always eager for sex.
Dr. Thompson shares alarming statistics from his clinic, where he finds that 3 to 4% of young men reported their “first experience” with sex happened before they turned 10. Even more troubling, he describes how boys aged 12 to college often find themselves battling unwanted sexual advances from girls—like waking up to find someone engaging in sexual acts without their consent. This creates confusion for young men who’ve been conditioned to believe that they should always be ready for sex and that saying no could result in them being branded as less masculine.
While society has become more aware of the risks women face, we often overlook the vulnerability of boys. There’s a common assumption that boys are always interested in sex and are physically capable of defending themselves. This mindset leads many to dismiss the possibility of male sexual assault, which is a dangerous misconception.
As a mother of sons, I’ve always felt it my duty to teach them about personal boundaries—making sure they know no one should touch them inappropriately. But with their teenage years approaching, I realize I need to expand our conversations. Sure, I talk to them about drinking responsibly and respecting girls’ boundaries, but now I must also address their own rights to say no and how to handle unwanted advances.
Dr. Thompson mentions that while the issue of sexual assault among boys isn’t as widespread as it is for girls, we still need more research to truly grasp its extent. It’s vital to educate boys about their rights and responsibilities regarding their bodies and sexual experiences. The outdated belief that “real men” are always ready for sex has to go.
So, as we navigate these conversations, let’s ensure our sons know they have the power to speak up, set boundaries, and seek help if they ever find themselves in a difficult situation. If you want to dive deeper into related topics, check out this post on home insemination or learn about the resources available at NHS. Plus, for those looking for products to assist with home insemination, Cryobaby offers some great options.
Summary
It’s critical for parents to have open conversations with their sons about sexual boundaries and the realities of unwanted advances. While we often focus on the vulnerability of girls, boys also face risks that need to be acknowledged and addressed.