It all begins even before we hit the hay. We have a queen-sized bed with a sidecar twin, and our 3-year-old still insists on sleeping with us. After nursing him to sleep, I sneak away to enjoy some time with my husband. But as soon as we settle in, our little guy, Max, starts stirring. His whiny, fretful cry fills the room, teetering between a sleepy whimper and a full-blown howl. I reach over, tuck him in, and offer some gentle pats. He quiets down, and I think I can finally relax.
But nope, the crying resumes. It’s nearly midnight, and this little one needs to get some serious Z’s; he was already up until 9 p.m. I wait, hoping for silence, but instead, the crying escalates again. I pet him softly, and he drifts into a restless dream, kicking and moaning. It’s clear: we’re in for another long night.
It’s a common misconception that only newborns and babies struggle with sleep — toddlers and preschoolers can be just as challenging. By 6 a.m., Max is up and demanding his morning “mama milk.” I typically nurse him only at bedtime, but when I’m desperate for sleep, I’ll compromise. I groggily pull down one side of my tank top, and he latches on like a hungry piranha. After what feels like five minutes, or maybe it’s 15? — just enough time for me to drift off again — he’s shrieking for “the other mama milk.” Alright, kid. Whatever you say.
I roll him over and repeat the process: yank-down, latch-on, back to dreamland. Then, at some point, Max decides he’s wide awake. He pops up, pokes me, and enthusiastically declares, “I awake!” before bounding off to the living room. I can only hope he hasn’t managed to create too much chaos while I stumble into the hallway.
Understanding Toddler Sleep Needs
According to Parents, toddlers aged 1 to 2 should be sleeping 11 to 14 hours total, often with two naps, while 3 to 5-year-olds need about 10 to 13 hours with just one nap — which my son ditched at age 2. The experts recommend establishing routines, preventing kids from getting out of bed at night, and providing comfort items to ease nighttime fears.
Over at the site of the Parenting Community, author Rachel Thompson points out that your toddler may wake up at night due to a struggle for control and autonomy. This could mean they need more independence in various aspects of their lives, not just sleep. Changes like the arrival of a new sibling, starting preschool, dietary shifts, or a parent returning to work can also disrupt sleep patterns. Even potty training, too much daytime sleep, or an overly early bedtime might contribute.
None of these reasons seem to apply to Max’s sleepless nights. Thanks for nothing, Parenting Community. I’m not alone in this sleep struggle. My friend, Lisa, shares that her 3-year-old has similar issues. “He’s impossible to get on a schedule,” she laughs, explaining how she tried to enforce one from infancy until he was 18 months old. Eventually, she threw her hands up and said, “Forget it.” Now her son is basically nocturnal, sleeping all day and wanting to party all night — I totally get it.
But as the know-it-all experts insist, Max should still be napping once a day — except we learned the hard way that if he does nap, it’s game over for bedtime; he won’t settle down until 1 a.m. Sometimes, he falls asleep in the car, and we just have to pray he doesn’t sleep too long, or it’ll throw off everyone’s sleep schedule, including his brothers, who might try to sneak into bed with us while Max is still wide awake, engrossed in his favorite show.
The Reality of Sleep Problems
According to sleep expert Dr. Sarah Fields at the Alberta Children’s Hospital, around 40% of children will experience sleep problems by age 18. By “sleep problems,” she means any issues regarding falling or staying asleep that impact the child or family. That rings true for us — I’m just glad my kids are tackling their sleep issues early. It seems Lisa’s little one is in the same boat.
We had similar challenges with my oldest, who now sleeps soundly in his own bed almost every night. Thank goodness! I hold on to hope that my younger kids will eventually follow suit — one day, and what a glorious day it will be. So, to all the parents of restless sleepers out there, you are definitely not alone. Let’s stick together!
Further Reading
For more insights on sleep and parenting, check out this informative post. And if you’re interested in home insemination, this resource is a great starting point. Also, take a look at this excellent guide for pregnancy-related information.
Summary
This article humorously explores the struggles of not just babies but also toddlers and preschoolers when it comes to sleep. Parents often face challenges as their little ones resist bedtime and wake frequently throughout the night. With insights from experts and relatable anecdotes, the piece underscores the fact that many parents share similar experiences, offering a sense of solidarity in navigating the chaos of sleep-deprived parenting.