Parenting
Meet your little one, the epitome of calm and smiles. His caregivers at daycare describe him as “chill” and “easygoing.” He only drools when he’s teething and hardly ever spits up. By four months old, he’s sleeping through the night for a solid 7-8 hours. When family and friends gather, he’s passed around like a hot potato, never fussing over separation. If he does get a bit cranky, a bottle, a hug, or a quick trip outside does the trick.
He’s your firstborn, and while there are some rough patches as you adapt to parenting, you feel incredibly lucky. He’s just so easy.
But hold on. He’s a smooth baby.
And that spells trouble.
With a smooth baby, your confidence as a parent will skyrocket. You’ll find yourself scrolling through all those sleep-training articles you saved, chuckling because you didn’t even need them. You’ve got this parenting thing down! You might even feel a twinge of guilt when your sleep-deprived friend with the wild-haired toddler asks how your baby is sleeping, especially when their little one cries nonstop unless held or has a wardrobe of toddler bibs due to constant spit-up. But your smooth baby? Just doesn’t do any of that.
Your smooth baby will have you believing that parenting is a breeze. You’ll gaze lovingly at him as he snoozes in his crib, gently patting his back without a worry of waking him. You’ll crawl into your own bed for a blissful seven hours, fully convinced that your genes are somehow superior. It’s not just luck; it’s destiny! At least, that’s what your smooth baby will have you think.
You might even find yourself saying things like “He had a tough time settling last night because he was teething—it took him almost 15 whole minutes to drift off.” You know it sounds off, but hey, it’s all you know with a smooth baby.
The biggest trick, however, lies in the most dangerous deception: he’ll make you consider having another baby. Right away! I mean, look how easy he is!
But don’t be fooled.
Remember, your smooth baby is a potential trap.
If you’re lucky enough to be blessed with a smooth baby as your first, cherish every moment of his delightful nature. But don’t be naive—smooth babies are rare, and your future little ones might not be cut from the same cloth.
Your smooth baby is setting the stage for what’s likely to come: a typical baby who may be colicky, resistant to sleep, clingy, anxious, and prone to all kinds of liquid mishaps. In other words, a normal baby.
If you let the charm of your smooth baby sway your better judgment, you might end up with two kids born within 18 months of each other. One will be demanding and noisy while the other just mastered walking and is on a mission to explore everything. Your smooth baby knows that if he can get you to let your guard down, he’ll benefit from your distraction when he decides to scamper off on an adventure.
Don’t blame your smooth baby for this lapse in judgment; no one will understand—especially not your exhausted friend whose child still isn’t sleeping through the night. And since your smooth baby sleeps soundly, you can’t even blame fatigue for your poor choices. But once that second “normal” baby arrives, you’ll be too worn out to point fingers. You’ll be a hot mess with your new baby clinging to you like a koala, drooling and spitting up all over your shirt, while your smooth baby is off trying to climb Mount Everest.
That’s the trick of the smooth baby. You’ve been warned!
If you’re curious about more parenting insights, check out this post on home insemination. And for expert advice, visit Make a Mom, a great resource on this subject, or explore CCRM IVF’s blog for useful information about pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
The article humorously warns new parents about the pitfalls of having a seemingly perfect baby, dubbed a “smooth baby.” Such babies can create a false sense of confidence and lead parents to believe that all children will be this easy, setting them up for surprises with future siblings. The author encourages parents to cherish their smooth baby’s good nature but to remain realistic about the challenges that often come with parenting.