If you’re not familiar with attachment parenting, it’s a style that often includes practices like co-sleeping, responding promptly to a baby’s cries, feeding on demand, and employing gentle discipline. If these methods don’t resonate with you, this article may not be for you, and that’s perfectly okay. This isn’t an attack on traditional parenting methods; I acknowledge they have their own benefits that I may not fully understand.
However, I have experience with attachment parenting, as all four of our kids were raised this way. I want to reassure anyone who might be questioning their parenting choices, especially parents who find their little ones peacefully asleep beside them and wonder if they’re being spoiled. I’m addressing the mom who feels like a human pacifier or the couple who hasn’t had a break since their baby arrived due to nursing concerns. If you relate to this, I hope you find comfort in my story.
We didn’t set out to adopt attachment parenting. When our first child was born, we hadn’t really thought about the kind of parents we wanted to be; it just unfolded naturally. When our son was with us, he slept better, and so did we, which led us to become a co-sleeping family. I’ve never been one for strict schedules, so nursing on demand felt instinctive. This made it nearly impossible to leave Baby No. 1 for any period, so we simply didn’t. Plus, those cumbersome baby carriers? They were a strain on my back, so I opted for holding him in my arms or using a sling.
Within weeks, we embraced attachment parenting wholeheartedly. While this approach felt right and enjoyable, I still grappled with doubts about our unconventional choices, even with encouragement from my family and the wisdom of parenting experts.
There were certainly moments that made me question our decisions. When our son turned four, he experienced intense separation anxiety—had we created too much dependency? By age five, our second child was still crawling into our bed at night. Was that normal? Our third child wanted to be carried constantly during her first 18 months. Was that acceptable? Our youngest, meanwhile, took longer to talk than his siblings—had we spoiled him by giving him everything he wanted before he even asked?
Looking back, I wish I had known then what I understand now: my children are thriving. They’re not fully grown yet—one has moved out, and our youngest is only 12—but I genuinely appreciate who they are becoming. While I don’t credit their delightful personalities solely to attachment parenting, I do believe that being raised with abundant love has significantly influenced their development. Based on my experience, here are some long-term benefits of this parenting style:
1. Kindness
My kids, while not perfect, make a genuine effort to be kind to everyone, from family to peers. Attachment kids seem to grow up expecting kindness in return, as they’ve experienced gentle responses and discipline.
2. Independence
A common concern about attachment parenting is that it fosters dependency, but that’s not the case. They may not have been independent at ages 3 or 4, but as they’ve transitioned into tweens and teens, they’ve developed confidence and capability.
3. Affection
Although it’s been a while since we heard little feet padding to our room at night (yes, they eventually sleep in their own beds!), our kids are still affectionate. My 12-year-old loves to snuggle during movie time, and my teenage daughters huddle together, sharing laughter and warmth.
4. Healthy Attachments
Despite the warnings about not being friends with your kids, we enjoy a strong bond with ours. We maintain authority while genuinely enjoying time together, fostering a relaxed parent-child relationship that can sometimes be missing during tumultuous teen years.
5. Sibling Bonds
Sure, my kids bicker, as do those of other attachment parenting families, but there exists a deep love among siblings that stems from a strong family connection.
6. Happiness
All the attachment kids I know, including mine, are generally happy. They’ve spent their early years surrounded by love and attention, fulfilling their emotional needs. Dr. Sears likens attachment parenting to meeting a child’s hunger for affection and security; just as withholding food exacerbates hunger, neglecting emotional needs can lead to dissatisfaction. Attachment children are emotionally nourished, resulting in well-adjusted, cheerful kids.
Attachment parenting isn’t the only approach out there. My children are far from perfect, and I’ve made my share of mistakes. Yet, I genuinely appreciate who they are becoming at their core. I’m not a parenting authority, but during my early motherhood, it was other moms who alleviated my concerns, sharing what worked for them. Attachment parenting worked for us, and if it resonates with you, relax and enjoy the journey. Yes, it can be demanding at times, but remember, this phase is fleeting, and you’re crafting priceless memories and incredible children.
For more insights on home insemination and parenting, check out this resource. If you’re looking for authoritative information on artificial insemination, Cryobaby offers fantastic kits. You can also explore the Genetics and IVF Institute for excellent knowledge on this subject.
Summary
The author reflects on their unexpected journey into attachment parenting, sharing the benefits they’ve observed in their four children, including kindness, independence, affection, healthy attachments, strong sibling bonds, and overall happiness. They encourage other parents to embrace what works for them, emphasizing the importance of love and connection in child-rearing.