My daughter is just a sprightly 4-year-old, caught up in the daily dilemma of choosing whether to be a fierce warrior like a ninja or a magical queen like Elsa, who can craft castles with a mere flick of her wrist. She’s drawn to these characters because they embody strength and create amazing adventures. With her confidence wrapped around her like a dazzling rainbow cape, my primary goal is to ensure that no one dims her shine. So far, so good (but I could use a little support!).
Fast forward to the future, and my bold, confident daughter will inevitably want to date. Perhaps she’ll be interested in boys—boys who might try to take away her sparkle. While I’ll allow her to navigate the rollercoaster of healthy and not-so-healthy choices, I aim to arm her with some essential tools—tools that will resonate within her when something feels off.
So, my dear daughter, here are some nuggets of wisdom for your future escapades in dating and relationships:
- He should practically idolize you. This is a must. You deserve to feel like the most treasured person in the world, not an afterthought or a neglected text message.
- However, being “too nice” is a red flag. He should also be honest with you when you need a wake-up call.
- Trust your instincts over those pesky hormones. Hormones can be misleading, but your gut feeling is usually spot on.
- If he ever tries to isolate you from friends or family, it’s time to hit the escape button—grab your phone, order an Uber, and don’t look back.
- When you’re 90 and reminiscing, you’ll want laughter to fill your days. If he’s not making you laugh now, he probably won’t when you’re sharing a nostalgic cocktail of colon-ease in your golden years.
- A good partner knows how to apologize, and you should too, so let’s work on that, alright?
- If he’s always questioning your loyalty, his locked phone is a glaring warning sign.
- He should prioritize your pleasure—he should want you to reach cloud nine even more than he desires it for himself.
- Explore different types of people. The one who makes you feel most alive might surprise you.
- You should be able to chat for hours about absolutely anything.
- If he can genuinely laugh at his own mistakes, he’s one to keep around.
- Your body, your rules. Period.
- Pay attention to how he treats his mom; that’s likely how he’ll treat you. And keep an eye on how his dad interacts with her—though people can change, these early dynamics can shape future relationships.
- If you feel worse about yourself since meeting him, don’t just walk away—run!
- Make sure you’re prioritizing your own needs.
- If he’s playing games, he’s not worth your time. Move on, little boy.
- And for heaven’s sake, don’t play games yourself. If you’re not into him, let him down gently.
- Steer clear of dating your friends’ exes. Even if they say it’s okay, they probably don’t mean it. Women live longer, and you’ll want your girlfriends around for those “Magic Mike XXXXXXL” movie nights in the future!
- Lastly, when you’re ready to settle down, visualize your life in 50 years. Consider where you want to be, what you want to be doing, and with whom. Does he fit into that picture? Does he make you laugh so hard that you snort noodles out of your nose? And honestly, does it matter if he has a full head of hair or not?
I’m sure I’ll add to this list in the years leading up to your dating life, but this is a solid start. My mission is to ensure that you never become a lesser version of yourself. And if someone can help you eat your veggies along the way, that would be a bonus!
For more insights on topics like this, check out this post on our blog.