Over coffee one afternoon, my friend Lisa and I swapped tales of our children’s resistance to napping. She mentioned how she sometimes buckles her son into his car seat and takes a drive just to give herself a moment of peace. I smiled, relating to her struggle, even though I’ve never had that option available to me.
You see, I’m a mom who can’t drive. Due to my poor eyesight, obtaining a driver’s license has never been an option. Growing up, this limitation felt manageable—I would rely on friends for rides or walk instead. I was as independent as possible in my small Californian hometown. When I moved to Portland, Oregon for college, the city’s excellent public transportation system made it easy to navigate without a car.
However, it wasn’t until I became a mother that this limitation truly began to feel burdensome. If one of my kids has a doctor’s appointment and it’s pouring rain (which is all too common in the Pacific Northwest), I have to bundle them up in jackets and boots and pack snacks because we’re not just walking a few feet to the car; we’re trekking nearly a mile to my obstetrician’s office.
When we run out of essentials like milk or toilet paper, we have to brave the elements, regardless of the weather. While other kids might joyfully jump at the chance to stroll with their parents, mine don’t have a choice, and it sometimes makes me feel guilty. I know it’s silly to feel this way, especially since it’s not something I can change, but as a mom, I always want the best for my kids. A walk through gusty weather to complete a time-sensitive errand isn’t necessarily what I envision as “best.”
Though I often find myself lamenting these challenges (and yes, I do from time to time), I also try to focus on the positives. My children have learned critical safety rules like looking both ways before crossing the street and waiting for signals at intersections. They’re mastering the intricacies of public transit from a young age, which will foster their independence and confidence as they grow. We meet a range of people from different backgrounds, enriching our daily lives in this vibrant city. They’re also learning that just because they can’t do something that most others can, it doesn’t mean they can’t lead fulfilling lives. It’s simply about finding our own paths.
Some days, I wish I could easily load my kids into a car, blast the radio, and take a leisurely drive until they drift off to sleep in the backseat like my friend Lisa does. But this is my reality, and it’s all my children have ever known about me. They will grow up self-reliant, just as I did, and I take pride in teaching them that lesson.
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In summary, being a mom without the ability to drive presents unique challenges, especially when it comes to daily errands and appointments. However, I strive to teach my children valuable life lessons about independence, safety, and adaptability, ensuring they grow up confident in their abilities.