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You Won’t Remember, But I Will
Parenting
Updated: Aug. 17, 2017
Originally Published: Aug. 17, 2015
“He’s not going to remember life before his sister,” everyone tells me as I start feeling guilty about ending your time as an only child. “To him, it’ll always be this way.”
And you know what? They’re right. Their reassurance brings me comfort during those quiet moments when guilt washes over me. But sometimes, the truth that you won’t recall our time before your sister—moments I’ve treasured more than you can imagine—is even harder to accept than the reality that this chapter is closing.
I know it’s true: You won’t remember.
You won’t recall those early days when we were figuring out how to be a team. You won’t remember that first day when Daddy’s car turned the corner, leaving me sobbing with you, brand new and tiny, wondering how I’d manage nine long hours alone with you.
Over time, we found our rhythm, you and I. We created our own little world, filled with stroller strolls, picnics in the park, trips to the aquarium, and playdates with new pals. You won’t remember those lazy days spent in pajamas, eating pancakes for breakfast and curling up on the couch to watch Curious George until the afternoon.
You won’t remember how spoiled you were—Mommy and Daddy’s first baby, Nani and Grandpa’s pride and joy, the first to smile, crawl, and walk as we cheered like crazy and snapped countless photos of your adorable, gummy grin. You won’t recall that for 17 months, all the toys, clothes, and books were all yours—no sharing required.
You won’t remember that you made me a mother, giving me a job that’s more fulfilling than I ever thought possible. The moment you entered my life, red-faced and wrinkly, you changed everything. When the nurse placed you on my chest, I loved you with a depth I could never have imagined before.
But thankfully, you won’t carry the weight of my early mistakes either. Like that time I forgot to pack an extra outfit, and you had to ride home in just a diaper, snow still covering the ground. Or when I totally spaced on your special swim class with Daddy—the very last day you were an only child. There were countless little ways I stumbled—losing my patience, letting you watch too much TV, prioritizing the wrong things over our precious time together—moments that your lack of memory will simply erase.
No, you won’t remember these last 18 months, and maybe that’s for the best. You’ll grow up knowing nothing of life before your sister, the smaller kid who steals your toys without you even realizing they were yours first. You won’t remember having Mommy and Daddy all to yourself or that our attention was never divided. This will help shield you from jealousy over your sister’s arrival. There was a method to our madness in planning our family so closely together, even if guilt sometimes clouds my mind.
You won’t remember anything from the time before your sister came into the world. It’s a fresh start for us as a family of four.
But that’s why I’m here: I will remember it all—every single precious moment. I’ll remember for both of us.
This article was originally published on Aug. 17, 2015. If you’re interested in more parenting tips, check out this post on home insemination kit. For those looking for reliable resources on pregnancy, MedlinePlus offers excellent information here. And if you’re considering self insemination, Make a Mom has the best kits available.
In summary, as you embark on this new journey with your sister, remember that while you might not recall these moments, they are forever etched in my heart. I cherish every second we’ve spent together.