17 Reasons I’m Skipping the Grocery Store Trip with My Kids Today

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Honestly, I’d much rather wait until my kids are fast asleep and my partner is home from work—after a long day of parenting, working, and managing chaos—than drag my little darlings along for a grocery run.

I get it. Some parents find joy in turning grocery shopping into an educational experience, teaching their kids about nutrition and math. But you know what? I’m just not feeling it today.

Grocery shopping used to feel like a mini-vacation. I’d leave my hectic world behind as I walked through those sliding doors, greeted by the cool air and shelves stocked with my favorite foods. The organized aisles were my sanctuary, and I could hum along to the tunes playing overhead, all while preparing for delicious meals. It was peaceful; a moment of control in my otherwise chaotic day.

Then came the kids.

When they were toddlers, let’s just say it was a whirlwind of chaos that I’d rather not revisit. The running in opposite directions, tantrums, and the urgent need for a bathroom break when we were knee-deep in our shopping list—it was a nightmare.

Fast forward to now, and there’s some kind of sorcery that turns my otherwise well-behaved school-aged children into whiny, irrational creatures the moment we approach a grocery store. It’s not just my kids; I’ve witnessed this transformation in others, too. It’s like a bad spell, and I’ve had enough of it. I love my kids too much to spend an hour in the store feeling frustrated. So here are my reasons for opting to shop solo from now on:

1. I have a stash of their “art projects” in my trunk that I’m trying to quietly purge, and I can’t risk their intervention.
2. I’d rather not have my shopping list expanded to include random requests like ice cream, puppies, or candy while driving.
3. I’d enjoy leaving the radio on without hearing questions like, “What does ‘tap dat ass’ mean?”
4. I’d prefer not to have to clean up after my kid swings the car door open and hits the car next to us—again.
5. The A/C is always too cold for my kids, and I’m done with “I told you so” moments.
6. They claim to want 23 different items per aisle, despite only liking seven foods each.
7. I want to keep my Achilles tendon intact and not risk injury from their mini shopping carts.
8. Don’t get me started on those ridiculous car-shaped shopping carts that are likely crawling with germs.
9. It’s exhausting to repeat, “STAY TO THE RIGHT!” in my best fake-nice voice every five minutes.
10. I don’t want to deal with the poor cashier who has to handle all the stuff my kids sneak into the cart.
11. There are precarious items within their reach everywhere—no thanks!
12. I apologize to way fewer people when I’m in charge of the cart.
13. I’m feeling the 90s muzak and want to dance without an audience.
14. I can’t explain the circle of life at the live lobster tank one more time without losing my cool.
15. It’s simpler to buy the hidden cookies when they’re not around.
16. I don’t need to hear any more complaints about vegetables tasting like butt.
17. I’m terrified there won’t be any candy-free checkout lanes, which could send me over the edge.

So if you see me late at night, wandering the grocery store in my pajamas, grooving to some INXS while tossing fresh broccoli into my cart, you’ll understand why. And trust me, I won’t be the only mom doing the same.

If you’re interested in more on this topic, you might enjoy some of our other posts, like this one on home insemination kits. Also, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, grocery shopping has transformed from a serene experience into a chaotic challenge with kids in tow. It’s often easier—and more enjoyable—to tackle this task alone.