Lessons I Learned After Losing My Dad

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The last time I heard my dad’s voice, it was an accidental call. He was waiting at a bus stop in Arizona, trying to reach my aunt for a ride. I don’t recall much of our chat, but I mentioned my new job and asked if he planned to swing by on his way home to see us. I still hear his voice saying, “Not this time,” with a bittersweet tone that lingers in my mind.

Just three days into my new job, I picked up a call during lunch. “Are you sitting down?” my aunt asked. “Your dad has had a severe stroke. They’re doing everything they can, but it looks grim. I’m so sorry.” In just a few sentences, my world crumbled.

The following days are a blur. I chose not to fly out to see him; I didn’t want my last memories to be of him in a hospital bed. Instead, I poured my feelings into writing. I called his room, and my uncle held the phone to his ear while I read the letter I had penned for him, crying all the while. He passed away just five minutes after I hung up.

It’s been nearly three years since that day. Finally, I feel ready to share my experience without breaking down. I’ve grown so much during this time, learning vital lessons about love, life, and grief.

Grief Never Fully Disappears.

It hits hard and fast, like a freight train crashing into your chest. The weight of it can leave you gasping for air or make you want to hide away forever. Grief is a relentless force, but it does change. While I now find myself smiling at memories of him more often than crying, there are still days when I need to let it all out. The ache of missing him remains, and some days, that’s easier to admit than others.

Laughter Aids the Healing Process.

Losing someone close can plunge you into a sadness that feels insurmountable. At one point, I asked my husband if I would ever laugh again. It’s crucial to surround yourself with joy, and for me, my daughter was my saving grace. Her laughter and smiles made it a little easier to find my own. The more I laughed, the more I started to feel like myself again.

“What If?” Gets You Nowhere.

Don’t trap yourself in the cycle of “what ifs.” Dwelling on hypotheticals is a painful game with no winners. We can’t change what happened, but we can learn from our experiences. Sometimes that means forgiving ourselves or others for what we wish could have been different. Let go of resentment—it’s a toxic guest that shouldn’t be allowed to linger.

Cherish Every Moment.

Life is unpredictable; tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for any of us. Make sure to spend more time enjoying the present rather than worrying about what’s to come. We only get one shot at this rollercoaster, so embrace it fully. Hug your loved ones tightly and let them know how much they mean to you. Live with gratitude and open arms. Remember, you are alive, so make every moment count.

Rebuilding after such a profound loss is a journey that requires time, strength, and courage. Remember how fortunate you were to have had your loved one in your life, and appreciate the depth of love you experienced together. Love doesn’t disappear; it transforms into something even more powerful than what we can touch.

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In summary, while grief is a heavy burden, it can evolve into something more manageable over time. Surround yourself with joy, embrace the present, and never underestimate the power of love.