Mom-Friend Deal Breakers I Won’t Apologize For

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Let’s be real: making mom friends can feel a lot like dating. You kick things off with a friendly chat, and if there’s a spark, you might exchange numbers. Sometimes you’ll hear back; sometimes, you won’t. We may even go on a few (play)dates, but I’ve had my share of awkward silences and ghosting moments.

As a 32-year-old married mom with two little ones, I’m not here to play games. Over the years, I’ve figured out what I want in friendships, and I’m okay with being a little picky when it comes to these deal breakers:

1. Your kid is a bully. Sure, all kids have their moments, but I can’t handle kids who are consistently aggressive or rude. I get it—kids mess up. But if your child is always causing trouble without remorse, I’m not letting my daughter hang out with them. I want her to understand that she deserves respect, and trust me, my protective instincts run deep.
2. You’re harsh with your child. It’s hard to watch a parent be unkind to their kid. Whether it’s constant yelling, cruel teasing, or belittling them in front of others, I can’t handle it. We all lose our cool sometimes, but it’s crucial to come back and mend things. Kids should feel safe and supported, and if that’s not the vibe, I’m out.
3. You reward tantrums. If your kid is getting treats for throwing a fit, it creates a ripple effect. My child sees that behavior and thinks it’s okay to act out too. Next thing you know, I’m dealing with a mini-meltdown at home. It’s a chain reaction, and I’m not here for that chaos.
4. You think sugar is the enemy. Look, I’m all for healthy choices, but I love cookies and cupcakes too. Yes, I let my kids enjoy some treats, and I’m fine if you choose differently. Just know that if you’re always talking about gluten and sugar like they’re the devil, it might make hanging out a little tough.
5. You’re always trying to sell me stuff. I totally get the hustle—supporting a family on one income can be rough. But when I have a little extra cash, it’s going toward a babysitter and some relaxation, not your latest product.
6. You can’t put down your phone. Our ability to connect has taken a hit thanks to technology. If you’re constantly on your phone while we’re chatting, it’s a deal breaker. Rudeness isn’t cute, and I’m not interested in a friendship that feels one-sided.
7. You’re a Negative Nancy. Parenting can be tough, and venting is important. But if you’re always playing the victim or spinning every solution into a problem, it’s draining. We should uplift each other and have fun, not feel exhausted after every conversation.

At the end of the day, I really don’t care about your parenting choices—whether you opt for daycare, your views on vaccinations, or how you handle sleep training. I just can’t invest in friendships that add stress to my life. True friendship should make life easier, not harder, and that’s a deal breaker for me.

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In summary, knowing what doesn’t work for me in friendships helps me focus on nurturing positive connections. So, let’s choose to surround ourselves with people who uplift us and make this parenting journey a little brighter.