21 Steps to Decluttering Your Kid’s Old Toys

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When you’re a parent, you accumulate an enormous amount of stuff. Some of it is intentional—cribs, high chairs, plush toys—but a lot of it seems to magically appear, creating a chaotic mess of items that range from fun to just plain junk. Your kids end up with mountains of toys: gifts, hand-me-downs, and even random bits like paper cup sleeves and used band-aids. When the time comes to clear some space and your child is not on board, it’s helpful to have a strategy. Here are the 21 stages of tossing out your kid’s outdated toys.

1. You get some loud or weird-looking toys and quickly realize you can’t handle the noise or the appearance. Like that bright orange rubber doll named “Bouncy Buddy” you won at a fair—its sticky surface attracts every piece of lint and hair in the house.
2. You mentally note that it’s heading for the trash.
3. You create a temporary stash area. For me, it’s an empty box under my desk where I toss anything I want to get rid of before the next donation run.
4. You wait for your kid to be at their little morning playgroup, giving you a precious 23 minutes to tackle the clutter.
5. Meanwhile, Bouncy Buddy is slowly falling apart—pieces are coming off like bits of string cheese, and you find red-orange strands everywhere, even tangled in your toothbrush. That’s when you decide it’s time to act.
6. You hide him in the box with some old chargers and random mugs.
7. Your child returns home, sensing something is amiss, and immediately rescues Bouncy Buddy from the box.
8. The next morning, your kid says, “Mom, please don’t throw away any of my toys, okay?” in a tone that would make even a saint feel guilty.
9. You wait six months. Your child hasn’t touched Bouncy Buddy once.
10. The doll continues to disintegrate, losing limbs along the way.
11. You find a leg on your dining chair.
12. You decide to take action finally.
13. The next day, during your brief window of freedom, you bury Bouncy Buddy in the kitchen trash, covering his unsettling face with coffee grounds and eggshells. For a moment, you feel like you’ve destroyed a piece of your child’s childhood.
14. That evening, while taking out the trash, your child sees the outline of the doll and starts to cry.
15. You fish it out and try to scrub off the remnants of breakfast, feeling like you’re dealing with something straight out of a horror novel.
16. Six more months pass. You discover another severed limb on your pillow, this time with a stray hair attached.
17. This time, you secretly stash the doll in your bag and sneak it out.
18. You find yourself behind a store, ready to dispose of it. As you lift the doll towards the dumpster, you realize it’s covered in the remnants of your bag—receipts, wrappers, and loose change. You feel like you’re in a scene from a crime thriller.
19. You carefully peel everything off, toss Bouncy Buddy into the dumpster, and speed away with your heart racing.
20. You arrive home to find a package from Grandma. Your child opens it to reveal a robot that sings “Yankee Doodle.” Of course, on its first march, it breaks.
21. You mentally note that this new arrival is destined for the trash too.

In summary, the process of decluttering your kid’s toys can be a challenging emotional rollercoaster, but sometimes it’s necessary for a tidier home. For more on managing family life, you might find helpful tips on home insemination here. If you’re looking for great resources on pregnancy, check out Healthline for some insightful information. For all your at-home insemination needs, visit CryoBaby for an artificial insemination kit.