This summer marked our 28th anniversary together. Yes, 28 years! If you do the math, you’ll realize we tied the knot back in the ’80s—hence the extravagant puffed sleeves on my wedding dress. It was a trend, I assure you.
As we reach this stage in life, we’ve noticed many marriages around us showing signs of wear and tear, with years of unresolved issues sometimes undermining even the strongest bonds. I thought it would be worthwhile to share what I believe has kept our marriage thriving through various challenges, including raising two kids, two puppies, moving homes twice, and navigating life together.
1. Let the Little Things Slide
I know this is a paraphrase from a popular book, but it’s true. If his towel is left hanging incorrectly, either let it be or fix it yourself if it truly bothers you. He doesn’t leave his shoes scattered on purpose to annoy you. Everyone has their quirks, and wasting energy on trivial matters will only drain you for the inevitable larger issues.
2. Share Wisely
If you both can agree on a toothpaste brand, then by all means, share a tube! But some items are best kept separate—think bath towels, certain clothing, and personal hygiene items.
3. Create a Financial Plan
We’ve found that having separate yet shared finances (think yours, mine, and ours) works wonders. This way, I can avoid asking if he really needed that new fishing rod, and he doesn’t have to question my sandal purchases. Having a little pocket money for yourself is essential; it allows for small indulgences without guilt.
4. Never Take Each Other for Granted
In relationships that stand the test of time, it’s easy to forget the little things. Every day, I still get a flutter of excitement when my husband walks through the door. I’m grateful for his skills, like fixing our car’s water pump; he appreciates my talent for slip-covering furniture without a pattern.
5. Embrace Time Apart
Although we spend a lot of time together, my husband’s work schedule has changed significantly over the years. When we each have our own outings, we return with fresh stories and experiences to share. It turns out that absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder.
6. Set Joint Goals
Whether it’s planning a dream vacation to Italy, training a puppy, or simply wanting to repaint a room, having shared targets brings us closer together.
7. See Each Other Anew
Occasionally, I challenge myself to look at my husband as if it’s the first time or the last time I’ll see him. This exercise helps me remember the essence of our relationship amidst the daily grind.
8. Physical Affection
Beyond the expected, small gestures of affection—like a gentle squeeze while grocery shopping or a quick kiss on the forehead—help us maintain our connection. It’s the little things that count.
9. Find Humor in Everything
Laughter is vital in our marriage. My husband makes me laugh daily, even if it’s at his goofy impressions or silly songs he sings off-key. His ability to find humor in any situation keeps our spirits high.
10. Respect Differences
Mutual respect is the cornerstone of our relationship. We may not always agree, but we honor each other’s preferences. I might enjoy pop music and kale, while he prefers classic rock and mushy bananas—but that’s okay!
Through these simple practices—along with perhaps those iconic puffed sleeves—we’ve managed to not just survive but thrive in our marriage.
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In summary, by focusing on these ten strategies, we’ve found not just a way to coexist but a path to deepening our love and commitment.