Some Days as a Single Mom Are Tougher Than Others

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Parenting can feel like a wild rollercoaster, especially as a single mom. I became a single parent three years ago when my husband walked out on me and our kids. But even before that, I was struggling with the concept of motherhood itself. Growing up in an abusive environment, raised by a mother who was ill-equipped for the job, I often feel lost in this role. Now at 32, I grapple with the idea of being a mom when I didn’t really have one to guide me.

The lessons I learned from my childhood were painful and damaging, and I find myself trying to unlearn those things daily. It’s terrifying to think about repeating the cycle of abuse that I experienced, but I’m determined that it won’t happen with my children. I may not have all the answers, and I often feel like I’m navigating uncharted waters, but I know for sure that I will never harm my kids.

However, every day brings new challenges that leave me feeling overwhelmed. Some days, I feel like I’m doing okay—other days, like today, I’m not so sure. I want the best for my kids; I want them to grow up happy, confident, and respectful. But I’m constantly reminded of how hard it is to teach them those values when I had to claw my way out of my own dark past without the proper guidance.

I love my children fiercely and want to provide them with a life filled with love and support. Yet, there are days when it feels like my best efforts just fall short. Between juggling two or three jobs to make ends meet, I’m often left exhausted, struggling to keep up with laundry and dishes, and feeling guilty when my child goes to school without the proper homework or clothes. I often have to choose between working to put food on the table or attending important doctor’s appointments for my son. Those choices weigh heavily on me.

It’s heartbreaking to see my kids dealing with the absence of their father who chose to walk away. I feel like I’m drowning under the pressure of single motherhood, and I wish I had someone to share this burden with. I often question if I can truly be the mother they need. Can I really raise them when I never had the kind of support I wish I had?

Despite all this uncertainty, I know I love my kids deeply. I love them in ways that make me question how someone could ever abuse their child. I’m determined to be better, to give them what I didn’t have. I might not be perfect, but my love for them drives me to keep trying. And today, that’s what I will hold onto.

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In summary, single motherhood comes with its own set of challenges, and some days are definitely harder than others. However, the love for my children fuels my determination to be the best mom I can be, regardless of my past.