My Marriage Journey: A Real Look Behind the Scenes

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Finding my way to marriage was no walk in the park. It took us seven long years to get engaged. Fast forward nine years later, and we were finally walking down an aisle decorated with rose petals, ready to say “I do.” The years leading up to that day were anything but smooth. After nearly 13 years together, I won’t pretend that our love story was one of those fairytales where love hits you like a lightning bolt. It was a journey, and behind the man who was still figuring things out was a woman with a clear vision for her future.

What I wanted was a marriage, a cozy home, and maybe a baby… and a dog someday. Now, I’m focused on giving our toddler a better life, away from the “crack alley” across the street. It seems so straightforward to wish for a better life for our child and for ourselves. Yet, nothing has ever been simple for us. Our love is intense, and so are our arguments. We feel everything deeply; passion has always been our driving force.

People often look at our wedding pictures and assume we have it all figured out. When you see me kissing my husband in my champagne-colored wedding dress, it’s easy to think, “They must be happy.” And yes, we were on that day. Right after the officiant declared us married, I shouted “Thank you!” loud enough for everyone to hear. I was on cloud nine and so grateful.

But there are so many unseen struggles behind those joyful wedding images. They don’t show the blood, sweat, and tears that led us to that church on a blistering July evening. I won’t sugarcoat it: our marriage is hard work, much like parenting.

We’ve had our moments of wanting to throw in the towel. We’ve sat facing each other, legs crossed, and said “I hate you,” meaning every word. There have been times when one of us walked away and times when the other let go. But through it all, we’ve never broken up for more than a day. Leaving each other completely has never been an option.

During those times when I genuinely felt animosity towards him, I eventually found my way back to love. I invested deeply in my partner, and over time, I learned to invest in myself too. I worked on my health and self-esteem, embracing who I am inside and out.

Before I could love him, I had to learn to love myself. And he, in turn, loved me even when I struggled with that. After gaining a hundred pounds, I often wondered, “How can he even look at me?” I was so critical of my body and the marks it bore. Yet, through it all, he saw beyond the physical. He loved me for my essence, not just my appearance.

He stood by my side during dark times, even when I was battling addiction. He braved the rain to walk home after I forgot to pick him up, locked out of our apartment in a haze. He loved me through my mistakes, even when I was at my lowest.

And after everything, he chose to have a baby with me. Through every version of myself I’ve lived, he has been there, loving me all the way.

His love transformed me into the mother I always wanted to be. People see our happy family photos and think they know our story, but they don’t see the struggles, the hard work, and the dedication it took to get here. Today, as we play with our child and cuddle together on the couch, I am thankful for our sheer stubbornness and the love that held us together through it all.

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Summary:

My journey to marriage and motherhood has been filled with challenges, passion, and hard work. What appears to be a fairytale from the outside hides years of growth, struggles, and unwavering love. Through thick and thin, my partner and I have built a life together, proving that real love endures.