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Raising Your Hand as the Bake Sale Mom
I got an email this week that threw me for a loop—nothing bad, just a simple subject line that read “Bake Sale.” Now, I’ve been in the elementary school game long enough to have seen my share of bake sale notifications, plant sales, and those “please donate your clutter so we can sell it to unsuspecting kids” events, but I’ve never been the one to spearhead a bake sale.
I usually take on projects that let me get cozy with my computer, not ones that require me to rally other moms for homemade Rice Krispie treats. I love volunteering for things that tap into my creativity as a mom and as a children’s book writer—like Parents as Reading Partners? Count me in!
But this year is different. My oldest kid is in fifth grade, and it’s a big milestone for both of us as we prepare for the transition ahead. This year is loaded with homework, tests, and all sorts of after-school activities, but also spirit nights, a big trip, graduation, a party that rivals a wedding, and yes—a ton of fundraising to cover it all.
So, back to that bake sale email. For a typical, organized person, it may not seem like a big deal, but for me, it sent me spiraling into a nostalgic reflection on my own childhood and my single mom, along with all the mixed feelings about those days as a Little League cheerleader.
When I was around 7 or 8, I joined the cheer squad for our town’s pee-wee football league. Decked out in our red skirts and white sweaters, we were adorable. Think Pennsylvania in the early ’80s—full of those classic bake sale moms who showed up with their tinfoil-wrapped goodies, ready to brighten the crisp fall air.
But let’s be real: for me back then, the cupcakes—yellow with chocolate frosting and sprinkles—were way more distracting than the cheering itself. My own mom, though? She was not part of that bake sale brigade. She was either working or juggling errands and my brother’s activities. Sure, she showed up to my cheer practices and soccer games when she could, but never for PTA business.
My mom was a unique kind of feminist—a political activist and a busy medical professional with a critical view of a system that relied on educated women volunteering their time. This makes it complicated when I tell her I have a PTA meeting, a book fair, and now a bake sale to coordinate. I can almost hear her voice asking, “Don’t you have better things to do? Like finishing that book? Writing an article? Or preparing a gourmet meal for my grandkids?”
And yes, I do have a lot on my plate. Many of us do. I have friends working demanding jobs, some who are present for every classroom event and others who send in grandparents or babysitters. Some feel guilty, while others are content with their choices.
When so much is asked of us—especially in schools—we all have to pitch in, whether it’s helping at a table, sending an email, or just slipping a few bucks into our kids’ pockets for Popcorn Fridays. Some can and should do more, as the system relies on participation to function. While some have more time and resources, and others less, many of us find ourselves somewhere in between, scrambling for bake sale funds or opting for store-bought cookies to ensure we’re involved.
Thinking about those cheerleading moms and their baked goods, I can’t help but wonder who they really were. Did they have early shifts or secret identity crises? Maybe they had a little something hidden under their flannel blankets. Is that what I’m becoming? Or maybe they just genuinely wanted to contribute and support their kids and community.
It’s also worth questioning why so few dads are involved in these events, but that’s a discussion for another day.
What I’ve realized is that I’m okay with being the “Bake Sale Mom.” I enjoy being present at my kids’ school, surrounded by the smell of sharpened pencils and cafeteria lunches. It’s a privilege to have the flexibility to wear this hat. Seeing my kids’ smiles when they spot me at school events, and knowing that our efforts help fundraise for the community—it’s grassroots organizing at its finest.
So yes, this is who I am now, among many other things. And, by the way, I love to bake.
If you want to explore more about home insemination and parenting, check out this post for helpful insights!