MilkSplat, #VomitLocks, And Other Hashtags Moms Would Totally Own

Hey there, friends! So, have you ever noticed how the internet keeps throwing new body quirks at us like they’re the latest trends? We’ve dealt with thigh gaps and bikini bridges, and now there’s something called the thighbrow that’s causing a stir. Seriously, who has time for this? Oh right, the Kardashians.

Elle started this thighbrow madness with a slideshow asking if it’s the new thigh gap. Like, can we just take a breather? Why do we keep picking apart women’s bodies and labeling them based on how our fat is distributed? Before I spiral further, let me explain: If you ever wore a high-cut bathing suit and leaned forward on your knees, you might see what they call a thighbrow. But honestly, who cares? Mine just looks like regular thigh fat, and as moms, we have way bigger fish to fry.

Instead of stressing over these silly trends, let’s get some real “mom bod” hashtags going because we might not have #onfleek eyebrows, but our chin hair #definitelyneedsplucking:

#Fupa

You know what I’m talking about! That pesky Fat Upper Pussy Area that many of us deal with after giving birth. Let’s celebrate our post-baby bodies and make #fupa a thing, so we can stop worrying if others are judging our “new normal” when we hit the beach!

#PoopNail

Okay, all you diaper-changing mamas! Who hasn’t gotten a little something under their nails while multitasking? Wear that #poopnail with pride! At least until you notice it and feel like you need to set your hands on fire. Seriously, it’s someone else’s POOP.

#VomitLocks

For the mom whose baby has reflux, it’s time to embrace that dried-up baby spit in your hair. You can’t shower 14 times a day (let’s face it, if you manage to sneak in one, it’s a win). Let’s make #vomitlocks a trendy thing; maybe a picture of a #vomitlocks mom lounging on a yacht will catch on!

#MilkSplat

Whether your baby’s on breast milk or formula, it’s inevitable you’ll step out with some milk on your shirt. So why not make it cool? Just own the #milksplat; it’s part of the mom life!

#FancyLeggings

Date night with your partner? But you’re still working on that pre-baby bod? Forget pants with buttons; let’s rock those #fancyleggings! With a flowy top, they almost look like real pants, right? You’re looking fleeky!

#YesterdaysEyeliner

Raise your hand if you’ve gone to bed without washing your face! And then woken up just in time to see the cute pediatrician. Nothing says “I’m a hot mess” like #yesterdayseyeliner. But hey, it saves time, and let’s be real, we’re all just trying to survive.

So, there you have it! We may not be sporting the latest ridiculous Instagram body hashtags, but we’ve got our own unique flair. And honestly, ours are way more relatable and fun.

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Summary: This article humorously addresses the absurdity of body trends while celebrating the realities of motherhood. It introduces relatable hashtags that encapsulate the everyday challenges moms face, highlighting the shared experiences that come with parenting.