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Navigating the ‘Lasts’ in My 40s
When our kids are young, we celebrate their “firsts” like their first steps, first words, and the unforgettable first tantrum at the grocery store. But as they grow, we start to miss those “lasts”—the moments that quietly slip by, like the last time they used a sippy cup or asked us for a bedtime cuddle. It’s bittersweet, really.
Recently, while I was out for a run, I found myself reflecting on my own adult “lasts.” After completing seven marathons in my 20s and 30s, I’ve been toying with the idea of training for another. It’s strange how life—along with kids, fatigue, and maybe a little too much wine—has kept me from racing for the past dozen years. Yet, I still dream about crossing that finish line, despite the nagging injuries I’ve dealt with. I remember a particularly rough moment during a race in Philadelphia, where I had to take what I now call The Subway Ride of Shame after pulling a muscle.
The thought of never experiencing that adrenaline rush again hit me like a ton of bricks. Could it be that I’ve run my last marathon? Would I ever regain the strength and motivation to complete another? This led me to ponder other potential “lasts” in my life. Here are a few that crossed my mind:
- When was the last time I did a cannonball into a pool? Did I even land it properly?
- How about swinging on swings at the park? Have I really swung for the last time?
- What about dancing? When did I last hit the dance floor with friends? Is my Lawnmower dance move officially retired?
- I’ve started shying away from shorts, opting for sundresses instead. Have I worn my last pair of shorts, and did I at least look good in them?
- Ice skating? Will I ever glide across the rink like I did in my youth?
- I didn’t even bother to catch up on the last season of The Bachelor. Is it possible I’ve watched my final episode? What is happening to me?
- And most importantly, when was the last time I considered streaking down the street naked? (Just kidding—I’ve never done that, but my mind was wandering on that long run.)
I finished my run with a sense of urgency to embrace these “lasts” and make the most of what I can. While there are definitely some experiences I’m glad to leave behind—like drinking too much—I want to hold onto the joys that keep life vibrant. So I decided to create a list, akin to a Bucket List but on a smaller scale—think of it as a Dixie Cup List or perhaps a Thimble List of delightful activities I plan to continue.
Here are some things I refuse to let be my last:
- Staying up late laughing and drinking with friends.
- Wearing a bikini top (I’ve let the bottoms go, thanks to my “mullet” body!).
- Riding rollercoasters.
- Attending concerts where the average age is above 14.
- Consuming an entire bag of Skittles in under five minutes.
- Jumping on a trampoline.
- Wearing something totally meant for a 25-year-old.
- Throwing a football.
- Sledding down a hill.
- Making a new close friend.
- Rocking a bold nail polish color.
- Jumping into a pile of leaves.
- Hosting a big party when I least feel like it.
- Planning a girls’ weekend with my college buddies.
- Building a snowman.
- Pogoing around.
- Bodysurfing.
- Body shots—well, actually, I meant visiting the Body Shop!
- Treating myself to a fancy lipstick just because.
- Wearing Athleta dresses all summer.
- Wandering aimlessly in New York City.
- Splashing in puddles on a rainy day.
And rest assured, I haven’t run my last marathon—it’s firmly on my Thimble List, so I’m determined to make it happen. If my stubborn body protests? Well, there’s always the possibility of streaking down the road, right?
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In summary, as we navigate through our 40s, it’s crucial to recognize the fleeting moments in life. While I’m saying goodbye to some things, I’m committed to holding on to the experiences that spark joy and create lasting memories.