Your cart is currently empty!
Why Are We Always Thanking Dads Just for Being Parents?
One of the earliest lessons I remember learning as a kid was the importance of saying please and thank you. As a dutiful student in Catholic school, I took this to heart. Now, it’s so ingrained in me that I often find myself ending emails with a “thanks!”—even when it’s really not necessary.
Ever since my daughter came into the world seven months ago, my gratitude radar has been working overtime. I’ve caught myself expressing appreciation to my partner, Jake, for everything from diaper changes to picking up our little one from daycare. I hope these thank-yous show him that I value his help and that parenting isn’t just a mom’s job.
While I know Jake appreciates what I do, his expressions of gratitude feel more reserved. It seems like he believes I’m just doing my “motherly duty.” This idea that our roles are set in stone—like I’m supposed to gather while he hunts—needs to change.
Jake is what some might label a “hands-on” dad. I really dislike that term. It often comes with praise when fathers do everyday tasks that wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow if a mom did them. Picture this: we’re at a family-friendly restaurant, and a baby starts crying. Jake grabs a bottle from the diaper bag and feeds our daughter while I enjoy my meal. Someone nearby might exclaim, “Wow, you’re so lucky he’s such a hands-on dad!” Meanwhile, if I were feeding the baby, it would just be seen as me doing my job.
It’s high time we elevate our expectations of dads. They shouldn’t just wait until it’s time to coach soccer. They should be equal partners in parenting, willing to pitch in without expecting a round of applause.
Some might argue that an equal partnership is tough because of breastfeeding. That’s true if you choose that route. My daughter was born six weeks early, and I struggled with producing enough milk, so Jake took on feeding from the beginning. He’s been amazing throughout.
Of course, there are countless other tasks dads can tackle. Sure, some moms might think that Dad won’t do things as well, but how will they improve if we don’t let them try?
The rise of stay-at-home dads is a beacon of hope for changing the narrative. It shows that both men and women can thrive in the home. The next step is helping them transition back to work and advocating for paid leave for all parents.
I hope that by the time my daughter is a parent, no one will think to thank her partner for simply feeding their child. Especially not me.
For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from Medline Plus. And if you’re interested in boosting fertility, make sure to explore the authority on the topic at Make A Mom. You can also read more about different parenting perspectives in our other blog post.
In summary, it’s time we recognize that parenting is a shared responsibility. Dads should be treated as equal partners and not just praised for doing basic tasks. Let’s foster a culture where gratitude is reserved for genuine efforts beyond the norm.