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10 Things to Say and Not to Say to a Friend Going Through Divorce
Watching a friend navigate the stormy seas of divorce can be tough. It’s heartbreaking to see someone you care about go through the end of a significant chapter in their life, and sometimes, it’s hard to know what to say or do. Here’s a friendly guide on what to say and what to skip when your buddy is facing this challenging time.
What Not to Say vs. What to Say
Don’t Say: “You shouldn’t be talking about him so much. You need to move on!”
Do Say: “So, what did he do this week that drove you crazy? Seriously? He actually did that? What a jerk!”
Don’t Say: “Here’s a plant for your new place!”
Do Say: “I thought about bringing you a plant, but then I realized you might not want another thing to keep alive. So, I brought you this gigantic bottle of wine instead!”
Don’t Say: “Is now really the best time to buy a new mattress?”
Do Say: “Let’s go hunt for some new sheets! 800 thread count, here we come! My treat!”
Don’t Say: “You’re lucky to have some time away from the kids.”
Do Say: “That sounds so tough. Can I get you a drink? He’s such a jerk.”
Don’t Say: “You should really exercise—it’ll help you feel better.”
Do Say: “You look a little too thin lately, so I baked you some cookies!”
Don’t Say: “Just because we see him occasionally doesn’t mean we’re on his side.”
Do Say: “We’re just hanging out with him to gather intel for you. We don’t even like him—he’s such a jerk!”
Don’t Say: “Why do you care that he’s already dating someone else?”
Do Say: “Let’s spice up your Tinder profile with some new pics!”
Don’t Say: “How about a mani-pedi?”
Do Say: “Want to go egg his new girlfriend’s house?”
Don’t Say: “Maybe you should take a break from dating and focus on the kids.”
Do Say: “I saw that condoms were on sale, so I grabbed you a few boxes!”
Don’t Say: “Now might not be the right time for that hobby.”
Do Say: “Fair enough, but let’s keep it fun!”
Remember, your friend needs support, understanding, and maybe a little humor during this tough time. Just be there for them, and don’t forget, their ex is always going to be a jerk (or at least that’s how your friend will see it for now). For more insights on navigating life’s challenges, check out our post on home insemination here. And if you’re interested in learning about fertility resources, Make a Mom has some great information, as does Resolve, which is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, being there for your friend during a divorce means knowing what to say and what to avoid. Keep it supportive, light-hearted, and always have a drink in hand!