5 Times I Wish My Kids Would Just Give Me a Break

Like many parents, I adore my kids with an intensity that can only be rivaled by a reality star’s obsession with social media. Still, there are moments when I find myself wishing for a little peace and quiet—where I can shoo them away like charming little nuisances, albeit just for a short while. Here are five of those instances:

1. In the Dead of Night

Hey there, little one! You hear that rustling? That’s just raccoons rummaging through the trash while an owl is on the hunt. Those sounds are a reminder that you should be snoozing right now. I totally understand if you’re feeling scared or sad; I’m not heartless. But if it’s 3 a.m. and you’re requesting goldfish crackers because dinner didn’t cut it, or you want another story for that bug bite—sorry, kiddo, you’ve got to wait until morning!

2. When They’re a Sticky Mess

If you find yourself drenched in pee, poo, slime, syrup, paint, or any other unidentifiable goo, please make your way to the garden hose. Even if you were covered in chocolate, I’d still need a moment to gather myself before I dive into clean-up mode. The chaos can be overwhelming, and a little distance would be greatly appreciated!

3. Way Too Early in the Morning

Just like those late-night wake-ups, being jolted from a dream at the crack of dawn is a surefire way to see my disappointed face. Just because our house design lets the morning sun blast right into your eyes doesn’t mean you need to jump on my bed like a tiny alarm clock without a snooze button. Next time, a donut in hand might help soften the blow.

4. During ‘Mommy and Daddy Time’

Unless we’re part of some quirky community that believes children should witness the miracle of conception, it’s utterly mortifying when you stroll into the bedroom, questioning why Mom and Dad are so close. Extra points for your worried expression when you ask if your dad is hurting me. Let’s just agree that anything involving ‘Mommy and Daddy time’ should remain a mystery. Back away slowly, and forget what you saw!

5. In the Bathroom

Without fail, you follow me into the bathroom, regardless of my intentions. You can somehow articulate the most embarrassing questions about my bathroom habits at the loudest volume. I suspect this is some form of revenge for all those times I potty-trained you, but can we at least establish that a potty break isn’t a family meeting?

It’s completely normal for parents to crave a little alone time, even if it’s just for a moment. Yet, before you know it, those little ones will be back in your heart—Mother Nature has a funny way of making kids utterly irresistible most of the time. If you’re interested in more insights, check out this post on home insemination kit. For those on a journey to parenthood, Make a Mom is a great resource, and if you’re looking for more information about treatment options, WebMD offers excellent guidance.

Summary

: Balancing the joys and chaos of parenting can be a challenge, especially in those moments when a little solitude would be blissful. From nighttime wake-ups to unexpected bathroom visitors, it’s okay to want a brief escape. Remember, though, that despite the occasional wish for peace and quiet, your kids are a source of endless love and joy.