How My Sister Became My Best Friend

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“It’s a girl!” My grandmother softly shook me awake, whispering the words I had been dreaming of. It was the dead of night, but I was wide awake, filled with excitement.

At school the next day, I proudly announced to my first-grade class, “I have a baby sister!” When we visited the hospital, my dad lifted me up so I could peek through the nursery window. I pressed my forehead against the cool glass and gazed down at her, my dad’s hands steadying me. Her name was Emily, and she was a little bundle of joy. We affectionately called her Em.

My older brother had been hoping for a boy. He had always been the faster, stronger, and smarter one. At that moment, I felt victorious. I couldn’t believe my good fortune. It would be years before I felt that way again.

When Em was just 2 and 3 years old, she would come to my door, begging to play, and I would slam it shut. By the time she reached first grade, I was envious of her social life. On weekends, she was often out with friends while my brother and I accompanied our parents to various boring destinations like antique shops and estate sales. I didn’t mind, though; it felt great to have just the four of us together.

I recall overhearing my mom and her friends in middle school discussing parenting. One of her friends commented on how helpful I must be, noting that the six-year age gap between Em and me must prevent any sibling rivalry. My mom didn’t correct her, but I knew I wasn’t particularly helpful or nice. I treated the sister I had longed for with disdain.

My mom told me I was jealous, suggesting I was taking out my frustration on the little sister who had taken my place as the baby of the family. I thought her explanation was nonsense; I insisted I disliked Em simply because she was annoying. She always seemed to be in my way. After school, she wanted to watch shows like Clarissa Explains It All while I preferred Oprah. I needed the computer for my homework, but she wanted to play Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego? I wished she would just disappear.

Then I went off to college, and everything changed. Living apart meant we didn’t have to compete for anything—whether it was bathroom time, the cordless phone, or the last cookie. With that distance, I started to see that maybe my mom had a point.

About a month into my freshman year, Em called me, crying, convinced our parents were about to split up. I tried to calm her down, reminding her that they always fought a lot. As she sobbed, I wished I could hug her. In that moment, my little sister transformed from my rival into my best friend—someone who truly understood me.

When she visited me in college, she was 15. I let her borrow my clothes and took her to a party where we sipped on Cape Cods and whiskey sours. We eventually crashed on my futon, and I made her promise not to tell our parents about our weekend adventures.

Before I headed off to grad school, my mom urged me to go through my old room. Buried among my childhood treasures was a card I made for Em when she was sick with a high fever. I had drawn a woman with black hair holding a small figure and written, “I will help you. Will you help me?”

Now, as an adult, I find myself calling Em for everything and nothing. I ask her whether you can freeze quinoa, if it’s normal to want to strangle your husband when guests arrive, what books she’s reading, and how she stays so zen with our mom. Just as I promised so many years ago, she’s there to help me, no matter the distance.

Just after my second baby was born, I felt overwhelmed with the demands of motherhood. Between sleep deprivation, breastfeeding struggles, and adjusting to life with a toddler and a newborn, I was drowning. But when Em spontaneously decided to fly out, I knew things were about to get better.

Em gets me like no one else ever could. We share the same parents, childhood memories, and quirks that bond us uniquely. Little did my 6-year-old self know that the baby sister I wished for would turn into my closest ally.

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In summary, my sister has transformed from an annoying little sibling into my best friend, showing me the true meaning of sisterhood through all the ups and downs of life.