How to Cultivate 40+ Years of Incredible Friendships

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You know, when I was a kid running around the playground or trying to score a spot on the dodgeball team, I never imagined I’d find three amazing friends who would stick by me through thick and thin for over four decades. Sometimes, I think about how we’ve managed to put up with each other for so long—but honestly, our bond is unbreakable. Here’s a glimpse into what has helped me nurture and maintain these friendships over the years:

1. Send Notes. Back in elementary school, we were the ultimate note-passing queens. Sure, we’ve swapped to emails and texts now, but those handwritten notes were filled with our own little codes. It was our secret language! Getting a note from them now, while nice, just doesn’t hit the same. We’ve moved on from the drama of crushes and hair mishaps—mostly.
2. Perfect the Art of Folding Notes. Only true friends can fold notes so tightly that no parent would ever dare to open them. We kept our secrets safe from prying eyes, but remember to keep those notes in your pocket. If they fall out of your folder, everyone will know exactly who you think is cute!
3. Bike Riding Adventures. Forget those trendy spin classes; nothing beats the joy of cycling together. We made countless memories on our bikes, especially when we spotted a cute boy down the street and ducked behind a tree to watch him ride by! And don’t forget to sneak some cash from your mom for those much-needed Payday bars!
4. Epic Sleepovers. The trick to a legendary sleepover is to stay awake the whole night, just chatting about life. We didn’t have smartphones to distract us, so we’d talk until sunrise. If anyone dozed off? Well, freezing a bra was always on the table. To this day, I get nostalgic whenever I hear “We Built This City” and can’t resist singing along!
5. Watch Scary Movies Together. Who else will reassure you that Freddy Krueger isn’t real when you’re terrified? They’re also the ones who will sprint with you to the door after a horror flick. Thanks for that, girls—really.
6. Embrace the Fights. It’s inevitable—sometimes you’ll clash. But guess what? Apologizing afterward brings you closer together. A heartfelt apology can spark some of the best conversations.
7. Be There for the Tears. When your best friend’s high school sweetheart turns out to be a total jerk, be her shoulder to cry on. She’ll be there for you too when you need it.
8. Celebrate Her Wedding. Shed happy tears as she walks down the aisle. It’s important to build a good rapport with her husband too—he’s part of the package now!
9. Welcome New Babies. When your friend becomes a mom, share the joys and challenges of parenthood. Be real with her about your own parenting struggles. After all, Google can only do so much!
10. Support Her During Loss. When tragedy strikes, like losing a parent, be there for her. I still remember my friends standing by me at my dad’s funeral, helping me cope in those dark times.
11. Help Through Divorces. When she’s facing the end of a marriage, hold her tight and remind her she’ll come out stronger. Sharing your thoughts on her ex (while being tactful) can help lighten the mood, even as you both stalk him on social media.
12. Get to Know Her Next Partner. Once she finds love again, build a rapport with her new husband. He’ll appreciate your long-standing friendship with her and may even become buddies with your partner too!
13. Celebrate Her Kids. Take pride in her children’s accomplishments and share parenting stories. Laugh and vent together about your own kids—they’ll remind you of your youth.
14. Stay Connected. Use social media to keep in touch. Pop in for visits, text them just to say hi, or even after a few too many drinks. Share updates about your lives and remind them how much they mean to you.
15. Send Fun Recaps. After a get-together, shoot a text about how much fun you had, and don’t forget to include some funny pictures to keep the memories alive. They have dirt on you, so it’s only fair you keep things interesting!

These friendships are like family. Even if days or weeks go by without contact, when they reach out, everything else can wait. These girls understand you like no one else, and that’s what makes the bond so strong.

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Summary

Cultivating long-lasting friendships takes effort, from sending notes and staying connected to supporting each other through life’s ups and downs. Embrace the journey, laugh, cry, and cherish the memories you create together. These friendships are invaluable and can withstand the test of time.