You Probably Won’t Remember, But I Will

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When I start feeling guilty about the end of your days as an only child, everyone reassures me: “He won’t remember life before his sister.” Their words bring me comfort during those reflective moments when the guilt washes over me like a wave. Yet, it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you won’t remember our special time together before she arrived—a time I hold so dear.

It’s true: You won’t remember those early days when we figured out this whole “just us” thing. I still vividly recall that first day when your dad drove off to work, leaving me in tears, clutching you tightly, wondering how I’d manage nine long hours alone with my tiny bundle. But over time, we found our rhythm. Our days were filled with stroller strolls, park picnics, trips to the aquarium, and playdates with new friends. You won’t remember those lazy afternoons when we stayed in our pajamas, devouring pancakes while watching your favorite cartoons.

You won’t recall how adored and spoiled you were—our firstborn, the apple of your grandparents’ eyes, the first to smile, crawl, and walk. We celebrated every milestone, capturing countless moments of your little self. You won’t remember those 17 months when all the toys, books, and clothes were yours, and sharing was a distant thought.

You won’t recall how you transformed me into a mother, making my life feel complete. The instant you arrived, red-faced and wrinkly, and the nurse placed you on my chest, I felt a love so powerful it was beyond comprehension. Luckily, you also won’t remember the learning curve of new motherhood, the many times I stumbled along the way. Like the time I forgot an extra outfit during our outing, and you had to ride home in just a diaper, with snow still covering the ground. Or that one time I completely blanked on your swim class with Dad on your last day as an only child. And all those moments when I lost my patience or let you watch too much TV—these little missteps will fade from your memory.

No, you won’t recall these last 18 months, and perhaps that’s for the best. You’ll grow up knowing nothing of life before your sister, the little one who now shares the spotlight with you. Thankfully, you won’t feel jealousy over her arrival, as you won’t remember a time when it was just us. There was a reason we planned our family this way, even if guilt sometimes clouds my thoughts.

Your life before your sister is a blank slate, a fresh start for our family of four. But that’s where I step in—I’ll remember every precious moment for both of us.

If you want to read more about the journey of home insemination, check out this insightful post at Home Insemination Kit. For those exploring fertility options, Make a Mom is a great resource. And if you’re looking for more information on IUI success rates, WebMD offers excellent insights.

In summary, while you may not remember the special moments we shared before your sister joined us, those memories will forever be etched in my heart. I’ll cherish every second and carry them with me as we continue our family journey together.