He wasn’t the easiest baby, toddler, or child. From the start, he has kept me on my toes. But now, as he matures, he has become a more manageable challenge—one that fills me with pride as his parent. I can hardly express how relieved I am to see the transformation, and I hope to feel this way even nine years from now when he’s navigating his teenage years. Those once-chubby legs have grown long, and his baby feet curve beautifully like an adult’s. His round face has evolved into one with defined angles, although the bright eyes and expressive brow still remind me of the little one I cradled for hours in my navy-blue recliner.
Last night, we labeled folders together, checked off supply lists, and discussed bus routes while deciding what he would wear for his first day of middle school. Meanwhile, his youngest brother lost his first baby tooth, and his baby sister was trying to keep it together as she was losing her own. His middle brother, who feels too grown up to be starting fourth grade, spent the day immersed in Lego creations. I fought the urge to make the last day of summer extra special because we embraced a quiet day at home instead.
I wasn’t prepared for today. The thought of having a child in middle school fills me with anxiety, anticipation, and a tinge of sadness for the baby he used to be. I dread the changes that come with puberty, worried they will strip away the innocence he still possesses. I hope his transition is smooth, that he won’t get lost on the bus, and most importantly, that he won’t have to eat lunch alone. Please, let him find just one friend this week.
Having survived middle school myself, I know what’s in store for him, though I also realize that things are different now than they were 30 years ago. Middle school can usher in self-doubt, emotional upheaval, awkward dances, and heartaches that linger longer than the loss of a tooth. I vividly recall the insecurity that plagued me in the P.E. locker rooms, the sting of unrequited crushes, and the daily struggles of social dynamics in the cafeteria. Confidence felt elusive.
Middle school signals the start of something significant and the end of the sweeter moments of childhood. I’m not ready to witness this transformation in my little boy. Seeing him hurt or lose that naive confidence weighs heavily on me. I understand that the journey through these turbulent tween years will have its own sweetness, but it feels like someone has pushed me toward the deep end. The pull to let go is strong, and the uncertainty of what lies ahead is intimidating.
This morning, when I dropped him off at school—after missing the bus, naturally—I gave him a high-five and mustered my best encouraging smile. “You’ve got this!” I said, trying to sound confident. Miraculously, I didn’t cry.
When I picked him up at the bus stop later, he seemed less like the excited boy I had dropped off. Instead, exhaustion lingered in his eyes. “So? How did it go?” I asked as he climbed into the car.
He slumped into his seat, and with a hint of sarcasm, he said, “Let’s just say I get the inspiration for Guns N’ Roses’ ‘Welcome to the Jungle.’” Sidebar: My son just referenced G’N’R. Clearly, we’re doing something right! Unfortunately, he ended up sitting alone at lunch and hadn’t made any new friends yet. “Middle school is not a time to make new friends,” he told his brother solemnly. He had a long, sweaty bus ride home and was surprised to learn that his new school didn’t have a playground. I could sense a shift in him, as if he had been introduced to a more complex understanding of the world. As we walked into the house, I could see tears brewing, and I wanted to tell him that it was okay to cry. I think we both wiped away a tear when we thought the other wasn’t looking.
He will be okay. He’s ready for this, and I believe that things will improve after today. However, growing up can be challenging, both for kids and parents. While I wish to shield him from pain, I also recognize that these growing pains are vital for development. I find myself caught between aging parents and young children, teetering on the edge of 40. Now, my son is in this middle space too, leaving behind childhood innocence yet not quite stepping into the solid footing of high school. Together, we will navigate this new terrain.
Here goes nothing.
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Summary:
As a parent, the transition of your child into middle school can bring a mix of excitement and anxiety. You may find yourself reminiscing about their baby days while worrying about the challenges ahead. It’s important to acknowledge the emotional rollercoaster that comes with this phase, both for your child and yourself. While growing pains are inevitable, they are also essential for growth. Together, you and your child can navigate the complexities of this new chapter.