Updated: January 25, 2019
Originally Published: August 21, 2015
Every morning, my routine begins with a scroll through social media, catching up on the latest pregnancy announcements and adorable baby pictures. I cherish these moments, but recently, my feed has been flooded with discussions surrounding Planned Parenthood.
Initially, I hesitated to delve into the videos circulating about the organization, fearing that my current situation might leave me horrified. However, as I watched, I became increasingly anxious about the future of reproductive rights, especially with new abortion restrictions emerging at both state and federal levels, coinciding with an impending election cycle. It became clear to me what women could potentially lose.
For context, I’m a physician specializing in obstetrics and gynecology. During my training, I worked at a facility in a conservative state that did not perform abortions due to state funding restrictions. As a result, I had little firsthand experience with patients seeking them. Nevertheless, I have always identified as pro-choice, firmly believing that no one should judge a woman’s reproductive choices until they’ve walked in her shoes.
My own pregnancy journey had been relatively smooth. After deciding to try for a second child right before my firstborn turned two, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant on the first attempt—a pleasant surprise, given my previous struggles with infertility. Although I experienced some morning sickness, it was manageable, and by the 16-week mark, I felt better. Friends and colleagues began to inquire about my pregnancy, and I was excitedly preparing for our new arrival.
At just under 12 weeks, our early genetic screening results were encouraging: negative for Down syndrome and other serious conditions. We were having a girl, and I couldn’t resist buying cute outfits and nursery items. Everything seemed to be on track until the anatomy ultrasound at 19 weeks.
Initially, the atmosphere was lighthearted, filled with jokes about our baby’s modesty as the sonographer struggled to get clear images. However, that soon shifted when he started using terms like “overriding” and “stenosis,” causing a sinking feeling in my stomach. When he reached out to comfort me, saying, “It’s nothing you did,” I sensed the gravity of the situation.
The high-risk specialist confirmed that there were concerns with our daughter’s heart, but we left the appointment with little information. Although we were offered an amniocentesis, I hesitated, fearing the results might not provide clarity in time. The mention of the 20-week, 6-day cutoff for termination felt distant, and I brushed it aside, thinking we could handle whatever lay ahead.
After some reflection, we opted for the amnio, hoping for reassurance. Unfortunately, the results painted a grim picture: our baby had a serious heart defect called Tetralogy of Fallot, which would require surgery shortly after birth. While it was manageable, it still meant a life of medical interventions and uncertainties.
A subsequent fetal echo revealed a more severe diagnosis: Tetralogy of Fallot with absent pulmonary valve. This meant our daughter’s condition posed significant risks, including potential respiratory failure if she survived birth. The prognosis was dire, and we were faced with the heart-wrenching decision of whether to continue the pregnancy.
As we navigated this emotional turmoil, I felt torn between sparing our daughter from suffering and the guilt of choosing our own family’s well-being over hers. I wished someone would tell me it was okay to choose to end her suffering, but the silence surrounding such decisions left us feeling isolated.
Ultimately, after much deliberation, we recognized that bringing a baby into the world who would endure such pain was not something we could accept. We began the termination process, which was fraught with emotional challenges, from mandatory counseling to the invasive procedures involved.
When my water broke unexpectedly, it served as a stark reminder of the complexities and unpredictability of pregnancy.
The implications of a 20-week abortion ban extend beyond individuals like me; they affect all women and their ability to make informed choices about their bodies and futures. For more insights on pregnancy and reproductive health, check out this great resource on IVF.
In summary, the challenges I faced during my pregnancy underscore the importance of access to comprehensive reproductive healthcare. A 20-week abortion ban can limit choices for countless women who may be faced with difficult medical decisions. For those interested in understanding more about the journey of artificial insemination, you can learn about it at Couples Fertility Journey or explore our privacy policy at this link.