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The (Unexpected) Best 50th Birthday Gift Ever
Updated: Dec. 3, 2020
Originally Published: Aug. 27, 2015
Two weeks after I celebrated my 50th birthday, my husband of 17 years dropped a bombshell: “I don’t love you anymore. I’m done.” Wait, what? Well, Happy Birthday to me, right? No wonder my present from the kids was a Fitbit and the card from him was so perfunctory. Why splurge on someone you’re planning to leave? And by the way, I guess the hint was that I needed to get moving. What a lovely send-off.
Did I mention we’ve been together for 17 years and have two amazing sons, aged 10 and 13? To receive such a cold farewell after all the history and effort we put into our marriage felt like a gut punch. I’m still recovering from that shock.
But here’s the silver lining: that was seven months ago. Although I’m navigating one of the most painful and confusing transitions of my life (and it’s certainly not the cheapest), I can finally see the light again. And I’m not talking about a tiny glimmer at the end of a tunnel. I’ve emerged from that tunnel, and what I see ahead is vibrant—fireworks, sunrises at the beach, flickering fireflies, the glow of candles, and even tiki torches. I’m talking about a brilliant, life-affirming light in my future. My next chapter is about to be full of new adventures, and I can hardly wait.
Sure, divorce is tough, and the next couple of years will be a challenge. But even after all this time, I can’t fathom still being in that marriage. It wasn’t me; I had lost myself. In the year leading up to my husband’s announcement, I started writing again. My authentic voice—funny, vulnerable, and honest—was back in full force. I was on a roll.
And then, “I want a divorce.” Maybe my newfound voice was too much for him, but I’m still going strong—actually, I’m stronger—embracing my words, my stories, and the community around me.
Sometimes, relationship issues can be salvaged, but it requires effort and a willingness to dig deep. It’s hard work. Other times, it’s simply time to move on. True happiness often stems from embracing change, even when it’s painful and tumultuous. At first, it felt like I’d never find my way back. Thoughts like “I’m too old” and “What about my kids?” plagued my mind. But gradually, I shifted my perspective: my best years are still ahead. I’ve gained wisdom and clarity about what I want. I’ve learned to embrace my crow’s feet, aching knees, and yes, even my muffin top. This body has lived, and it’s ready for more.
I am also a single mother now, raising two incredible, resilient boys. It’s tough to watch them cope with this change, but they’re beginning to see the brighter side. I’m happier and more relaxed, and you know what? So are they. The tension has eased; we can finally breathe. Adjusting has its challenges, but there’s more laughter and peace in our home. I haven’t yelled in seven months!
So here’s to the most unexpected yet incredible 50th birthday gift: a fresh start, a new chapter in the story of my life. I’m pumped to embrace middle age, wrinkles and all. They’re laugh lines, after all, and I plan to fill my life with laughter, love, and adventure. I’ve rediscovered the strong, funny, capable woman I’ve always been, and she’s ready to take on the world.
Want to explore more about family and relationships? Check out this insightful piece on home insemination. And for those curious about self-insemination, Make a Mom offers an excellent guide. If you’re interested in understanding more about the process, WebMD is a fantastic resource.
Summary:
Life can surprise us in unexpected ways. After a devastating divorce, I’ve found a renewed sense of self and excitement about the future. Embracing change is challenging, but it can lead to new beginnings and a brighter life ahead. My journey as a single mother is rewarding, filled with love, laughter, and growth.