Nasty Restaurant Patrons Can’t Compete with Toddlers: A Humorous Take on Parenting

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I firmly believe that everyone should experience working in a restaurant at least once. It’s not just a great glimpse into the best and worst of human behavior, but it also equips you to handle the demands of cranky customers, which is fantastic practice for parenthood.

Having held several jobs in the food service industry, I can confidently say that the rudest customers I’ve dealt with pale in comparison to my toddler.

When it comes to dining preferences, he doesn’t simply send back his meal; he throws his plate across the table, bellowing, “I don’t want that!” Unlike polite patrons, my little one makes it clear that he has no patience for less-than-perfect cuisine.

As for rudeness? I had my fair share of obnoxious customers who would complain about their meals, but none ever resorted to launching food at me. I’ve lost count of how many times my toddler has unceremoniously hurled snacks in my direction, leaving me dodging flying apples and carrots.

And let’s talk about temperature. It’s impossible to serve food to a toddler at the right temperature. Everything is either scalding hot or ice-cold. If I dare to take just 30 seconds to cool down a piece of fish, my son will completely refuse to try it once it’s cooled off. Cold milk? Forget it—he’ll demand “warm milky” instead. Cross that line, and you’ll be facing a full-blown tantrum.

Ketchup is another matter entirely. Just like diners who salt their food before tasting, toddlers require ketchup on everything. No consideration for whether it complements the dish at all! My son is convinced that oatmeal with ketchup is a gourmet delight. I’ll take his word for it, but I’m still skeptical.

Then there’s the classic “If Mommy made it, I don’t want it” syndrome. This may just be a quirk of my little guy, but if I whip up a meal, he won’t touch it. While restaurant-goers might at least sample a dish before turning it down, my toddler goes straight to refusal mode. However, if we go out and he sees the same meatballs I prepared at home, he’ll devour them without hesitation. It’s like my cooking is a curse, but a restaurant’s version is pure gold.

Lastly, he never leaves a tip. I work hard to prepare meals, and a simple “thank you” or even a kiss would be appreciated. Instead, I’m left with nothing but crumbs and a sense of unfulfilled gratitude. I’m seriously considering adding an 18% gratuity to every meal just to recognize my efforts.

So, dear waitstaff, take heart! Your restaurant experiences will indeed prepare you for the rollercoaster that is parenthood. If you’re curious about more parenting insights, check out this link for helpful tips. And for those interested in the world of home insemination, Make A Mom has some fantastic resources, as well as CDC’s information on pregnancy and insemination.

In summary, parenting a toddler can be more challenging than dealing with difficult restaurant patrons. From thrown plates to food temperature tantrums, the experience is a wild ride. But with a little humor and patience, we can navigate this chaotic yet rewarding journey together.