“Just don’t be one of those moms who leaves her kids at the sitter’s to hit the gym or enjoy some peace and quiet.” Those were the final words from a potential babysitter for my two little ones. She was an experienced caregiver, a grandmother herself, and her home smelled like a cozy roast dinner. I had considered hiring her until she shared that unsolicited advice.
Like many new parents, I’ve been bombarded with a flood of parenting tips, dos and don’ts from the moment I announced my pregnancy. I often responded with a smile and a polite nod, but I won’t apologize for my decision to carve out time for myself.
I’m the mom who sends my toddler to daycare part-time, so I can enjoy a little solitude with the baby. Sure, I could say it’s for his happiness (which it is) or for his growth (which it also is), but honestly? I need a breather.
I’m also the mom who drops the kids off at Grandma’s so I can catch a concert. If I claimed I only do this for the artists I’m thrilled about, I’d be fibbing. Sometimes, I go just to escape the house and enjoy a night alone.
I’m the mom who sneaks out on a Saturday afternoon for coffee with friends. Often, that coffee turns into a long lunch filled with laughter, making it hard to return home right away. I could mention that it gives the kids bonding time with their dad, which it does, but honestly, I relish those moments of adult conversation and good food.
I’m the mom who leaves the kids with the neighbors to run “errands.” And by errands, I mean indulging in a massage or getting my eyebrows done. I know the baby might be crying and the toddler could be throwing a fit, but these shoulders won’t pamper themselves.
And yes, I’m the mom who books a fancy restaurant for a date night with my husband on a Friday. I know the kids are munching on snacks and watching movies with the teenage sitter down the street, and they’ll probably stay up too late. I could pretend I’m worried, but truthfully, I’m not.
So to the babysitter who warned me not to be one of “those” moms, it’s too late; I already am. I leave my kids with the sitter so I can go for a run after work, or even just linger and chat with my coworkers for a bit. I intentionally carve out time for myself, because if I don’t, who will?
These moments away from my kids create essential breathing room. They remind me that while I’m connected to them, we are also individuals who need time apart to nurture our independence. It reinforces the idea that I have needs that deserve attention; I matter too.
And I refuse to apologize for prioritizing my own well-being.
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Summary
Taking time for yourself as a parent is essential for your well-being. It’s okay to prioritize your needs and enjoy moments away from your kids. These breaks foster independence and remind you of your individuality.