I Look Like a Teen Mom, and It’s Not as Glamorous as It Sounds

Parenting

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I often hear women wishing for a younger appearance, and let me tell you, it’s a common theme in our society. It’s almost taboo to ask a woman her age. Now that I’m in my thirties, I celebrate my birthday with friends at the club, but there’s this underlying feeling of “we’re partying to avoid the tears,” you know?

Yes, I do look youthful. I get carded for kombucha and have been mistaken for a middle school student at my job more times than I can count. With comments like, “Oh! I thought you were in high school!” or “Are you the babysitter?” I’ve learned to open most conversations with a little disclaimer: “Hi, I’m Jamie. I look younger than I am. Just wanted to clear that up!”

When my son was born, I was 26—definitely not a teenager, but still young by today’s standards. In Park Slope, Brooklyn, being a 30-year-old mom feels like being a preteen in a world of adulting pressure. I joke, but there’s some truth to it. If I’m lucky, I’ll be 60 and still look 45, and I’d consider that a win.

Honestly, I don’t mind if you think I’m my kid’s babysitter, especially when he’s throwing a tantrum, screaming “I want coconut!” during our sweaty walk home. And if anyone doubts my parenting credentials, I have his birth certificate and ID to back me up. Plus, I vividly remember the delivery—let’s just say it involved quite the dramatic entry.

What bothers me is being treated like a child. My role as a mother is crucial, and I don’t appreciate being disrespected in front of my son. Like that time I was twenty minutes late dropping him off at school, and his teacher, who barely knew me, leaned in and said, “You will not be late again.” She spoke slowly as if I were a child.

I felt humiliated, and the assistant teacher’s awkward laughter only made it worse. Eventually, I stammered my way to a response, “I-I-I will try my best.” But her insistence, “No. You will NOT be late again,” left me shaking. Afterward, I found a quiet corner and cried.

Living in Park Slope, I know how much we pay for preschool—it’s not cheap. Shouldn’t that mean we’re treated with a bit more respect? If I looked like all the other affluent parents, would she have spoken to me that way? It’s hard to say, but I’ve seen other parents waltz in late with barely a glance.

There are plenty of other examples, like that time an ER nurse lectured me for an hour about car seat safety while I nodded along. I know my son fell and hit his head; I didn’t need a lesson on parenting. Just because I look young doesn’t mean I’m clueless.

So, if you look your age, embrace it! Don’t let a wrinkle make you feel down. Aging has its perks—people are less likely to question your choices and more inclined to treat you like an adult. It must be nice.

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In summary, looking young has its downsides, especially when it comes to being treated with respect as a parent. Whether it’s dealing with judgmental teachers or condescending professionals, it’s essential to stand your ground and embrace your age.