The Epic Toilet Training Showdown

home insemination Kit

Being a parent isn’t just about soothing scraped knees and dealing with spills; it’s one of the wildest experiments in trial and error ever. When something clicks? You ride that wave until it inevitably crashes—often just moments after you think you’ve got it all figured out. You find yourself dancing through heaps of laundry, overjoyed, thinking, “This works!” Then you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, looking like a mad scientist, and you tone it down, but inside, you’re still cheering, “It worked!”

Then you have a second child. Armed with the knowledge from your first, you feel like a parenting pro—perhaps even a wizard. But guess what? With this new little one, none of your well-established strategies seem to apply. It’s like trying to reinvent the wheel all over again.

Take my situation, for example. My first son was a potty training prodigy. I taught him to wipe, and off he went—mostly. This meant that I often had to deal with some pretty unsightly laundry situations, but once you give a kid that responsibility, backtracking feels impossible. So, I silently dealt with the mess and offered him a refresher course every so often.

When my second son started potty training, I thought I’d try a different method. I’d handle the wiping until he got the hang of it. Seemed simple enough, right? Well, here we are, two years later, and I’m still the official butt wiper. And let me tell you, I’m over it!

You might wonder, “But who wipes him at school?” The answer: he doesn’t poop at school. In fact, he hasn’t had a bowel movement outside of our home in nearly three years! Last spring, I went away for 48 hours, and he held it in until I returned. No joke.

So, we finally had the talk.

Me: “Hey buddy, how about you try wiping your own butt?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “It’s super easy! I’ll show you.”
Him: “No.”

Tactic change time.

Me: “Don’t you want to wipe like a big boy?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “It’s nice to have privacy and go when you want. Don’t you want that?”
Him: “No.”

It was clear this whole “passive mom” approach wasn’t cutting it. I finally cracked.

Me: “Listen, I’m really done wiping your butt.”
Him: “No.”
Me: “For real. You’re in pre-k; you need to learn to do this.”
Him: “No.”
Me: “Alright, I didn’t want to do this, but you have to wipe yourself from now on. Got it?”
Him: “No.”

Now, it’s been three days since he last pooped. And honestly? This is working for me!

If you want more on navigating the wild journey of parenting, check out this post on home insemination where they share valuable resources. And if you’re looking for authoritative information, visit Make a Mom for a comprehensive at-home insemination kit. For those seeking help with infertility, Women’s Health offers excellent resources.

In summary, parenting is a rollercoaster of hits and misses, especially when it comes to potty training. What works for one child may not work for the next, forcing you to adapt and find new strategies. Sometimes, taking a strong stance is all it takes to encourage your child to step up and embrace their responsibilities.