Here we go again.
My house is spotless. I find the time to organize everything, scrub every corner, and for a brief moment, it shines. The air is filled with a synthetic fragrance reminiscent of a rainforest. We can relax on the couch without our clothes collecting enough cat hair to fill a decorative pillow. Everyone heads to bed with fresh sheets and clean pajamas.
And all of this comes at the expense of my entire day, which I should have spent enjoying time with my kids, but instead, I plopped them in front of the TV. I sacrificed not just my free time for several days but also probably an entire weekend.
The kicker? I have two little ones, and by morning, everything is a complete disaster again. It’s enough to make any woman want to retreat into a life of housecoats and endless stress.
No one openly admits to choosing to be a housewife these days. I didn’t sign up to be the caretaker of my home. I intended to be a stay-at-home mom. The title has changed, suggesting a shift in focus, but the responsibilities have only multiplied. My job isn’t just about keeping the house tidy; it’s also about preparing healthy meals that require chopping a mountain of produce. It’s about playing with my kids and savoring these fleeting moments while they grow up too quickly but also not quickly enough.
Why do you think women in the 1950s had immaculate homes? They weren’t expected to do all of this other stuff. They threw ground meat and canned soup into a casserole dish, and dinner was served. Their kids were off exploring the neighborhood until it was time to return for that meat-soup meal. And, of course, patriarchy played a role, but that’s a discussion for another time.
I’m not someone who thrives in a messy environment. Sure, my house is often chaotic, but my stress level is directly tied to how messy it is and how long it’s been that way. By the time my home is clean again, I’m completely worn out and can finally relax for a few minutes.
So, I’m making a decision. It’s time. I should have done this ages ago.
I’m hiring a housekeeper.
Absolutely, I am.
I want to be a mom. I want to cook nutritious meals for my family. I want time in my day to indulge in activities for myself, like getting exercise so I don’t become a stiff mess in my 40s. Maybe even take a shower? Yet, all these desires come second to keeping our home, and I’m fed up with prioritizing everything else over my own well-being.
Every two weeks, someone will come into my home to clean my baseboards, vacuum and mop the floors, scrub the bathrooms, and wash the windows. Someone other than me will dust, tidy, and disinfect. I will still handle the daily upkeep, but without the overwhelming burden of tackling the big tasks.
I’ve contemplated making this change numerous times, but I always hesitate. It feels wasteful to spend money on chores I could do myself. But here’s the reality: I’m not doing them. And the likelihood of my habits changing overnight is slim. However, my day-to-day life will improve significantly if I don’t feel guilty about not sorting socks when I could be playing with my kids or engaging in work I enjoy.
While we’re not wealthy, I can manage this by cutting back in other areas and sticking to a tighter budget. I will find a way to make this work.
With the immense pressure we women place on each other and ourselves to always be “on,” something has to give. I’m tired of sacrificing my health and happiness on the altar of cleaning supplies.
I will feel no guilt. I will feel no shame. I will simply feel exhilarated by the extra time in my days to do whatever I please. (Spoiler alert: it won’t involve dusting.)
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Summary:
Jessica Martin shares her frustrations about juggling housework and motherhood, expressing her decision to hire a housekeeper to reclaim her time and focus on what truly matters: her family and self-care. By delegating cleaning tasks, she aims to reduce stress and enhance her daily life, prioritizing her health and happiness over household chores.