The Joy of Two Decades Together

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I began my journey with my husband when we were just 19, wide-eyed college students. Our first argument was memorable: in a fit of frustration, he flung himself into a snowbank, and I burst out laughing, realizing then and there that I loved him.

Fast forward 20 years, and here we are—a significant milestone in the grand tapestry of life. We’ve endured everything from moments of pure disdain to door-slamming, mirror-breaking arguments. We’ve also shared countless fits of laughter that left us gasping for breath and wiping tears from our eyes.

There have been days when we’ve simply drifted past one another in our routines, communicating only in sleepy grunts before coffee. We’ve faced helpless situations too; I still remember the time our youngest fell and kept throwing up. And yes, we’ve shared those early morning looks that silently scream, “Do we really have to get up and do this again?”

Through it all, I’ve come to know he’s my person—imperfect, a bit bossy, absolutely brilliant, and unapologetically loud when he burps. But there were surprises I never anticipated when I first laid eyes on that goofy guy in a red baseball cap, armed with a super soaker and a mischievous grin:

1. One day, we’d be able to communicate with just a glance.
   • Did he just say that?
   • For sure!
   • Should I grab the iPad?
   • Definitely!
   • I’m kinda nervous.
   • Same here.
2. Over the years, we’d end up saying and doing hurtful things, but marriage is all about mastering the art of letting go of grudges.
3. The human body is, let’s be honest, a little gross, but even after witnessing some cringe-worthy moments, we still find ourselves wanting to get close.
4. There would be moments of pure bliss, like enjoying five minutes of silence together or when I step out of the shower, feeling less than glamorous, and he says, “Wow, you look amazing.”
5. There would come a day after a summer filled with kids when we’d drive away, watching them wave goodbye and feel so liberated that we might just want to keep going. Spoiler: we didn’t.
6. We’d sometimes say ridiculous, hurtful things to each other just to see the other lose their cool.
7. We’ve become the keepers of each other’s secrets; at our age, playing “Have You Ever” over drinks is a risky endeavor!
8. There was a morning when the sound of him brushing his teeth made me want to stab him with his toothbrush. But I restrained myself.
9. Saturday mornings can be a mixed bag—wonderful and lazy, or fraught with misunderstandings over bacon and life insurance.
10. We’d learn that it’s okay to not want to be around each other on certain days.
11. Occasionally, we’d lose sight of each other, especially when we’re knee-deep in kid chaos.
12. Most importantly, life has improved significantly—maybe I’ve just stopped letting him boss me around in the kitchen get to me so much!

A 20-year relationship endures countless storms, and I believe the magic lies in waking up together after each one. Picture this: we blink our eyes awake, and then one of us lets out a loud fart that shakes the bed and wakes up our toddler in the next room—who giggles at the absurdity of it all. That’s what marriage is all about.

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In summary, the journey of a relationship is filled with ups and downs, but it’s the shared moments—both good and bad—that create a rich tapestry of love and companionship.