Why Asking Women About Their Plans for Kids Can Be Hurtful: A Friendly Reminder

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We’ve all heard the questions before:

• “Why don’t you have any kids yet?”
• “Are you planning to have children?”
• “Do you want kids?”

These inquiries can feel a bit intrusive, especially if you don’t know the person well. If you’re close enough to someone to ask about their family plans, you probably already have a sense of their situation. If not, why pry? It’s best to respect boundaries and mind your own business.

Recently, a well-known figure, Lily Harper, opened up about her own challenges with infertility during an appearance on a talk show. She shed light on why it’s so essential to refrain from asking women about their childbearing plans. For many, these questions can hit hard.

Lily shared that she and her partner, Jamie, have faced their own fertility hurdles. “We would have started our family years ago if things had gone differently,” she explained. Instead of ignoring the questions, she takes a different approach. “I tell people, ‘One day, you might ask that to someone who’s really struggling, and it could be painful for them.’ It’s just not okay. Stop asking me!”

She makes a valid point. You never know what someone is silently enduring. Imagine asking a woman, “Why don’t you have kids?” only to hear her reply, “I can’t have children. We’ve been trying for so long.” Or what if you ask a man, and he says, “I had a rough upbringing, and I’m not ready for that.” It’s crucial to think before you speak. Not everyone desires children, and not everyone feels comfortable sharing their personal details with you.

At the end of Lily’s segment, she opened up about her own struggles, echoing the sentiment that these questions can be quite burdensome.

So, let’s commit to stopping the cycle of intrusive questions. We can always find more thoughtful ways to connect with one another. If you’d like to learn more about fertility options, be sure to check out this informative post on intracervical insemination. And for a reliable source on home insemination, visit Make a Mom. Also, if you’re curious about in vitro fertilization, this Wikipedia article is an excellent resource.

In summary, while it’s natural to be curious about others’ family plans, it’s essential to approach the topic with sensitivity. Not everyone is ready or able to share their journey, and it’s best to respect their privacy.