6 Valuable Insights from My Sister-In-Law About Being a Resilient Mom

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By: Sarah Thompson

I was expecting my second child when I found out my sister-in-law, Lisa, was also pregnant with her second little one. My daughter arrived in December, while her son, Ethan, was due in June. The phone call I received on April 25 announcing Ethan’s premature arrival was shockingly nerve-wracking. He was born six weeks early, and I prayed that everything would be okay.

Ethan spent his first week in the neonatal intensive care unit, which was my first real insight into the challenges of juggling a newborn in the hospital, a husband with a demanding job, a recovering mother, and a little girl at home. Ethan’s early arrival was due to an oxygen obstruction, and as they began discussing cerebral palsy (CP), the worst-case scenarios were laid out: Ethan might struggle to sit up, walk, feed himself, or even talk. It was a crushing blow for the family.

However, Lisa was not one to accept this gloomy prognosis. She dove headfirst into researching CP—its implications, care strategies, and physical therapy options. She decided that their family would write their own narrative, rather than letting statistics dictate Ethan’s future. Lisa was determined that her son would achieve milestones like sitting up, rolling over, crawling, and walking. And guess what? He’s done all of that and more!

Watching Ethan grow has been remarkable. He’s an incredible kid, and his journey has not been easy for him or for his parents. They’ve dedicated countless hours to physical therapy, undergone surgeries, and ensured he has access to top-notch equipment and education. It’s inspiring to witness how Lisa has navigated this path as a mother. Here are six key lessons I’ve learned from her about being a strong mom:

1. Perspective Matters: Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself of what other moms endure. Lisa works full-time as a teacher while her husband has a demanding job with unpredictable hours. When he works long shifts, she effectively becomes a single mom. Yet, this hasn’t stopped her from continuing Ethan’s therapies and ensuring her kids engage in activities like gymnastics. Yes, Ethan is a gymnast! When I feel drained after a long day, I think of Lisa juggling work and therapy appointments, and how she manages it all with grace.
2. Be Your Child’s Advocate: Lisa exemplifies what it means to be a fierce advocate for your child. She doesn’t take “no” for an answer. Her commitment is to ensure that Ethan has as normal a life as possible, and she has navigated the healthcare system’s complications with determination. From seeking educational opportunities to fighting for necessary equipment and insurance coverage, her perseverance has made a huge difference in Ethan’s life.
3. Challenge Limitations: Lisa has shown me that we should never let others dictate what our children can or cannot do. Our kids learn about possibilities from us. Because of her unwavering belief in Ethan, he has never been led to think he can’t achieve something. He doesn’t know that others may have doubts about his abilities, simply because Lisa has fostered an environment that encourages him to believe in himself.
4. Find Adventure in Uncertainty: Life with a special needs child can be different than expected, but it doesn’t mean it’s any less adventurous. Lisa had dreams of hockey games and golfing weekends for Ethan, but while their reality may look different, they still find joy in their experiences. They explore new activities and adapt, showing that adventure is about the spirit, not the specifics.
5. Curiosity is Key: Initially, I hesitated to ask Lisa questions about Ethan’s condition, worried I might upset her. Instead, I learned that she prefers open dialogue about what makes Ethan unique. She believes education is vital for fostering understanding and acceptance. When I asked her if I could write about her experiences, she welcomed the idea, eager to share their story to combat ignorance.
6. Respect the Expertise of Special Needs Moms: When it comes to children with special health care needs—be it CP, autism, or any other condition—listen to the mothers. They are the true experts. Lisa’s requests regarding Ethan are not meant to inconvenience anyone; they are rooted in a desire to ensure his well-being. If you’re unsure, just ask her—she’d likely be happy to share insights.

Thank you, Lisa, for being such an inspiration. You truly are my hero.

In conclusion, the journey of motherhood is filled with trials and triumphs, and the lessons we learn from those around us can be invaluable. If you’re looking for more insights on home insemination, you can check out this resource on intracervical insemination. Also, for helpful tips on fertility, visit Make a Mom. Lastly, for comprehensive information about pregnancy and home insemination, Progyny is an excellent resource.