Why Breastfeeding My Toddlers Was Right For Us

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Twelve years ago, during a dinner with friends who had no kids, our almost-3-year-old son, Lucas, casually strolled up to me, leaned his elbow on my chair, and dropped a little bombshell. He simply asked, “Wanna nurse?” I nearly spit my drink across the room as I watched our friends’ eyes widen in disbelief. “No, thanks,” I chuckled, “Maybe later.” Thankfully, Lucas was satisfied and merrily skipped away. “Did he really just say that?” our friend asked. Yes, yes he did.

All three of our kids nursed until they were just over 3 years old. By that time, we had significantly reduced nursing to just bedtime and morning snuggles, but we were still working on the weaning process. It was a sight to behold for anyone unfamiliar with extended breastfeeding!

Given the numerous opinions surrounding this topic, let’s clear the air: here are 10 things that did not motivate us to nurse our toddlers:

1. To discomfort others.
2. To prove a point.
3. A misguided attachment to breastfeeding.
4. Seeking attention.
5. A need for my kids to rely on me.
6. A belief in my own superiority as a mother.
7. An inability to say no.
8. Fear of my kids growing up.
9. Laziness in providing solid food.
10. The desire for accolades.

These common misconceptions don’t apply to me. (Okay, No. 8 is somewhat true, but it has nothing to do with breastfeeding!)

10 Genuine Reasons We Continued Nursing

1. Comfort: Nursing was a consistent source of comfort for our toddlers, just as it had been from birth. Other kids might have pacifiers or blankets, but for us, nursing was the magic solution. It helped us avoid the infamous “terrible twos,” as our kids were still able to find that connection while exploring their independence.
2. Nutrition: Breast milk retains its nutritional value well into toddlerhood. While kids eventually need more than just milk, it still provides essential proteins and vitamins. Why switch to cow’s milk when human milk is available and nutritious?
3. Money: Breastfeeding is free! I didn’t see the point in spending money on cow’s milk or alternatives when I had an abundant and free supply.
4. Convenience: If my nursing toddler asks for milk, I don’t even have to leave my comfy spot. It’s like carrying around a cooler filled with sippy cups without the hassle!
5. Research: My mom was a lactation consultant, so I grew up understanding the benefits of breastfeeding. With extensive research backing extended breastfeeding, including anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler’s findings on natural weaning ages, I felt confident about our choice.
6. Respect: Our kids wanted to continue breastfeeding, and I wanted to honor that. We gradually weaned, creating a gentle process that respected their attachment.
7. Calm: Nursing offered a peaceful break amidst the chaos of toddler life. This calmness likely contributed to fewer tantrums than you might expect from a typical 2-year-old.
8. Body Image: This one’s a touch vain, but it’s worth mentioning. Breasts were fuller while nursing, and I lost baby weight easily. It was a nice perk!
9. Experience: I was breastfed until 2.5, and my husband until age 4. We turned out perfectly normal, without any odd obsessions.
10. Confidence: Even though some may find extended nursing strange, I felt reassured knowing it was a common practice among many mothers. My experiences, combined with support from others, solidified my confidence in our choices.

If you met my children today, you wouldn’t even guess they nursed until 3. They don’t remember it, and that’s perfectly fine. The societal discomfort surrounding “extended” breastfeeding is a cultural construct, lacking real basis.

I completely understand that not every mother will want to nurse for this long, and that’s totally okay. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests at least one year, and the World Health Organization recommends two years or longer if mutually desired. However, these are merely guidelines, not strict rules. Every journey is unique, and some women may choose to wean sooner or may face challenges that prevent them from breastfeeding.

It’s also absolutely fine to nurse a child who can ask for it. The key takeaway here is that motherhood is challenging enough without adding pressure or judgment about our choices.

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In summary, my choice to breastfeed my toddlers was influenced by a blend of comfort, nutritional benefits, financial savings, and personal beliefs — all while respecting their needs. It’s important to embrace the variety of parenting choices available and support one another along the way.