In Defense of Finding Balance in Parenting

Recently, I came across a quote on Facebook by a well-known author, and it said, “Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” I couldn’t agree more! Anyone who knows me understands I’m all about celebrating the beautiful chaos of life. Sometimes that chaos comes from my kids, sometimes I create it myself, and other times, it just sneaks up on me out of the blue like a slap from a two-by-four. Messes are a part of life, and I’m okay with that.

What I struggle with, though, is a lengthy comment that followed this quote, where the author proclaimed her stance against “balance.” She suggested that many women have come to equate balance with perfection, which is a major misconception, and I agree. It’s crucial for women to differentiate between the two concepts. Balance matters.

What Does Balance Mean?

So, what does balance mean? It’s about maintaining an even distribution of weight so that we can stay upright and steady. As parents, it’s essential for us to find a way to remain stable, and even those without children want to feel grounded. Yes, there are moments when we lose our footing—when life throws us off track. But we need to keep our eyes on the goal of getting back on that beam.

One of the biggest issues we face as women is mistaking balance for doing it all. That’s simply not feasible! The author mentioned her personal journey to find balance, which included eating, praying, and loving—though it wasn’t a perfectly balanced process. It took a lot of each of those activities to eventually integrate them into her life harmoniously.

Creating a Truly Balanced Life

For a truly balanced life, we need to include exercise, work, family time, and moments for ourselves, too. The reality is, you can’t do everything all at once. Even if you try to evenly distribute tasks on a seesaw, there’s only so much weight it can handle before it breaks.

Creating balance in your life means making choices. Maybe you prioritize exercise on one side and eating on the other. You have time with your children on one end and time with your partner on the other. Your seesaw can fill up quickly! But those big priorities are what keep you upright. When they’re out of alignment, achieving balance becomes a real challenge.

Then there are all those extra responsibilities—friends, housework, projects you want to tackle, and the like. It can feel overwhelming. You have to decide what’s truly important. Balance means recognizing your limitations. Unexpected challenges can throw off your equilibrium, and when that happens, you need to lighten the load on one side of the scale.

Adjusting When Life Gets Hectic

For instance, if you planned to bake a birthday cake from scratch but things got hectic, it’s perfectly fine to buy one instead. Your kids won’t mind! Or maybe that bathroom renovation will have to wait another year. We all want to do everything, but realistically, you can’t—especially if you want to keep your sanity.

Life has its ups and downs, and sometimes things run smoothly. But then, bam! Something disrupts the flow—like a family emergency or a simple mess like spilled milk. In those moments, you have to adjust and find balance again. If unexpected tasks arise, don’t just pile on more work to compensate. Look for ways to lighten the load or seek a little help.

The Importance of Seeking Help

What’s that? Help? Yes, help! Think about elite gymnasts on the balance beam—every once in a while, they need a spotter, especially when attempting something challenging. This idea that we must do everything ourselves is a barrier for many women. Sometimes, to regain balance, you need support. That doesn’t indicate weakness; it’s a way to get back to where you want to be—upright and steady.

Your support system could be a friend, a therapist, or a coworker—maybe even all three! The key to finding that balance lies in prioritizing what matters most on each side of your seesaw and asking for help when you need it. That’s when you truly achieve balance, and it’s a good thing.

Conclusion

In summary, finding balance in parenting is about recognizing what’s essential, making choices, and not hesitating to seek help when needed. Embrace the mess and enjoy the journey!