Why Can’t I Turn Off the Never-Ending To-Do List?

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Every morning, just as I’m starting to wake up, a mental list begins to scroll behind my eyelids. It’s an unending catalog of tasks I need to tackle that day. First up: scoop up the wailing toddler from the crib, change the diaper, pour that much-needed coffee, and whip up breakfast for the boys. Oh, and don’t forget to put on some pants. More coffee, please.

Then there’s the “getting ready for school” checklist: brush teeth, pack lunches, sign permission slips. Somewhere in this chaos, I remind myself to shower (or at least wash my face), shove in my contacts, and make sure I eat something. Once the boys are off to school, the list just keeps going: clean the kitchen, get dressed, prep for my own workday at home. Even when I manage to dive into my tasks, the mental ticker persists: Buy rain boots for my older son. Plan dinner. Drop off bags at Goodwill.

Sometimes, I wish I could switch my brain off, or at least silence the incessant to-do list that feels like a nagging alarm going off every few seconds. I find myself mumbling reminders: Pack snacks, call the pediatrician for flu shots, don’t forget deodorant, rotate the tires, order Halloween supplies. Did I confirm that meeting? What do I need for dinner? Is it time to make dinner yet?

Some people suffer from intrusive thoughts due to anxiety or OCD, and while I don’t want to downplay their struggles, my own to-do list feels like an unwelcome neighbor that simply won’t leave. It’s always there, never blank, and I can’t help but feel that if I were to meet St. Peter, I’d have to ask him to hold on a moment while I check off “get to Heaven” and jot down “find good places to eat in Heaven.”

Even when I try to unwind, like reading a book in the evening instead of doing another load of laundry, the to-do list is still whispering in my ear. I can tell myself to relax and enjoy the moment, but there’s always that nagging thought that taking time for myself just means more chores tomorrow.

Is this the reality of motherhood? Will the list ever shrink? Weekends start with a new list of things to tackle (like “clear out the home office so we can actually work in there”) and somehow end with just as many items still pending (“keep working on cleaning out the home office”).

I sometimes wonder if my family is just slower than others, but surely I can’t be the only one feeling overwhelmed. The truth is, there’s just too much to juggle for the two of us adults. Non-urgent home repairs get pushed aside, and here I am, still in maternity clothes two years after giving birth because I haven’t found the time to shop. The constant influx of kids’ clothes feels like a full-time job, especially since they outgrow everything every few months. Meal planning, shopping, and prepping seem endless, even with all the time-saving hacks out there (which, by the way, is another item on my list: “learn how to be a more efficient cook”). And let’s be real: trying to clean while watching the kids is like herding cats. Just when I think I’m making progress, my toddler decides to dismantle the printer.

Perhaps one day, when my kids are older and don’t need my constant attention, things will improve. Maybe I’ll finally get the chance to work in my home office without interruptions. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to turn off this never-ending to-do list.

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Summary

The daily grind of motherhood can feel overwhelming with an endless list of tasks to juggle, from taking care of the kids to managing household chores. Even moments set aside for relaxation are often interrupted by the nagging feeling of unfinished business. While it may seem like the to-do list will never shrink, there’s hope that as children grow older, some of the chaos will ease up.