At 50 years old and after 27 years of marriage, I find myself back in the dating game—well, sort of. I’m not searching for romance; I’m on the hunt for a lifelong friend. Yes, I’m on a mission to find my new BFF.
My original best friends, the ones I’ve cherished since childhood, are scattered across the Northeast—from Maryland to Pennsylvania to Rhode Island. These incredible women have stood by me through everything: awkward phases, poor choices, heartbreaks, and the occasional hangover. We’ve shared countless adventures, from parties and road trips to late-night ice cream runs and 2 a.m. phone calls. They hold the memories of my life—the highs, the lows, and oh boy, the fashion faux pas (trust me, you don’t want to see those ’80s perms). If I lived closer, I’m sure we’d still be catching up over drinks every few weeks, perhaps even planning to watch the next Magic Mike sequel together.
However, as a stay-at-home mom who has homeschooled for nearly two decades, my local friend circle has shrunk significantly. Lately, it’s dwindling more than growing. Cue the Friends theme song, but with a twist: “So no one told you life was gonna be this way, your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your social life’s DOA.” With playdates and mommy groups long behind me, many of my mom friends have drifted away. Now that I’ve enrolled my child in public school, I’m no longer in touch with most homeschooling moms. Plus, as I transition back into freelance writing, I miss the built-in social networks that come with traditional jobs. So, what’s a socially starved woman to do? Enter “The Friend Dating Game.” No need for a game show host—just me, putting myself out there.
Phase 1: Dive In
To kick things off, I joined a few local groups to test the waters of making new friends. As an introvert, this is definitely a challenge for me. I feel like I need a life raft—or at least a giant pool noodle—to keep me afloat in these social situations. But I’m determined to make this work!
Phase 2: Build the Excitement
With two active teens, our color-coded family calendar keeps us all updated on who needs rides, who’s home for dinner, and who suddenly needs $25 for an event we just learned about. Ironically, my social life is represented by a sad blue entry on the calendar—just my upcoming dentist appointment. Really? So, I decided to change that by adding “Mom’s Night Out” in bold, blue letters. I was buzzing with excitement!
Phase 3: Get Ready
The night of my first friend date arrived—Bunco night! I was excited for a few hours of drinks and dice, which sounded way more fun than my typical evening of laundry and scrolling through my phone. But then came the classic first-date dilemma: what to wear? I didn’t want to come off as too desperate or out of touch. I rummaged through my closet and found clothes that fell into three categories: church attire, outdated work clothes from the ’90s (complete with shoulder pads), and comfy casual wear. Nothing trendy in sight! So, I settled on a couple of “timeless” pieces from my comfy collection and headed out the door.
Phase 4: Show Up
When I arrived at Bunco, I quickly scanned the room. Okay, no one looked like a serial killer—good start! (Of course, after a couple of glasses of wine, everyone starts looking friendly! Hence why I needed to assess the group before the drinks flowed.)
As the night unfolded, I met a dozen wonderful women, all eager to escape their own homes and have some fun. We shared stories of our lives—careers gone astray, divorces, health battles—keeping it light since it was our first meeting. We munched on appetizers, sipped drinks, and rolled the dice while sharing plenty of laughs.
By the end of the night, a few potential friends didn’t make the cut—like the woman who didn’t crack a smile and the one with a cloud of negativity hovering over her. But the best part? I walked away with two phone numbers! Looks like I’m set for a second date.
If you’re interested in exploring more about the journey of parenthood and friendship, check out this blog post for thoughtful insights. And for anyone considering home insemination, Make A Mom offers great resources. For those diving into fertility treatments, this is an excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
After years of marriage and raising kids, one woman finds herself on a quest to make new friends. Through various phases—getting into the game, building excitement, preparing for her first outing, and finally showing up—she navigates the challenges of adult friendships. With a successful first night out, she learns that it’s never too late to expand your social circle.