6 Reasons I Yell at My Husband

home insemination Kit

I used to think I was the ultimate partner. As a newlywed, I prioritized my marriage every single day. I made it a point to show love through little acts—like grabbing my husband Jake’s favorite craft beer on my way home, giving spontaneous back rubs, or letting him take the remote when his beloved soccer team was on, even if it meant missing my favorite show.

People warned me that things would change once we had a baby. I understood in theory but found it hard to fathom putting anyone before Jake; he was my top priority. Then, two years into our marriage, our son Leo arrived.

Guess who took the number-one spot? Sadly, when your husband gets demoted to second place, he often finds himself on the receiving end of my frustration. But before you start planning a support group for “Verbally Abused Husbands of New Moms,” let me clarify: it’s tough for both of us. I never imagined I’d turn from a calm wife into someone who yells so much that I sometimes lose my voice (and sanity).

Here are six reasons why I find myself raising my voice at Jake:

1. I Can’t Yell at Leo.
   About 90% of the time, my outbursts are about Leo. Let’s be honest; yelling at a sweet baby is just cruel. So, naturally, I vent my frustrations at Jake, blaming him for our little one’s antics. Whether it’s the baby waking up every hour or having a messy spit-up incident right before work, it’s easier to redirect my annoyance at Jake.
2. I Can’t Yell at Work.
   I’m lucky to love my job; I work as a writer and editor for a well-known bank with an amazing team. But that doesn’t mean my coworkers don’t occasionally get under my skin. When I’m frustrated at work, Jake often becomes my sounding board. It makes sense, right?
3. I Haven’t Eaten All Day.
   I’m the personification of “hangry.” Jake learned early on in our relationship that once I mention hunger, he has about 15 minutes to get me food before I become unbearable. Caring for Leo means I often forget to feed myself while focusing on his needs. I can’t count the times I’ve looked at the clock, only to realize it’s 4 p.m. and I’ve eaten nothing but a few snacks. If Jake comes home without a treat for me, watch out!
4. I Haven’t Slept in Ages.
   Sleep deprivation feels like a form of torture. In Leo’s early days, I was so exhausted that it felt unsafe to drive. Jake and I were both in a state of constant fatigue, and sleep became a rare commodity. When it was Jake’s turn to wake up with Leo, I’d often lose it if he hesitated. Those midnight arguments were the worst, and I’d find myself yelling obscenities at my bewildered husband while both of us were half-asleep.
5. I Didn’t Go for a Run.
   I didn’t realize how much my identity was tied to running until I had no time for it. Before Leo, Jake was great at encouraging me to run when I was feeling off. But now, with baby duties consuming my time, I struggle to find even a moment to lace up my sneakers. Exercise? What’s that?
6. He Forgives Me.
   Navigating marriage is tough, and adding a newborn makes it even tougher. It requires a lot of patience and forgiveness. Despite my yelling and the stress of new parenthood, Jake continues to forgive me. Each time. I know this phase will pass, and we’ll find our rhythm again. When Leo isn’t crying and I’m not yelling, we share moments of happiness I never knew existed—like lazy Sunday mornings snuggled up with our little family and our dog.

Even if I yell at Jake ten minutes later, I remind myself of his unwavering support. Marriage with a baby is a wild ride, but it’s worth every moment. If you’re navigating similar struggles, you’re not alone. For more insights on parenthood and home insemination, check out this excellent resource that covers pregnancy week by week, or learn more about at-home insemination with this guide.

Summary:

This lighthearted reflection explores the reasons behind the author’s frustrations and yelling at her husband after having a baby. From sleep deprivation to the challenge of balancing personal needs, each point highlights the struggles of new parenthood while emphasizing the importance of forgiveness and love in a marriage.