Like Mother, Like Daughter

home insemination Kit

Parenting

By Lisa Turner
Updated: July 29, 2016
Originally Published: Oct. 10, 2015

When my daughter, Sophie, was 13, she told me she wanted to be like Mia when she grew up. Mia is a friend of mine who has this fabulous job in the fashion world and dates a variety of intriguing people, from artists to architects.

Ironically, Mia looks at our mutual friend, Tara, with envy. Tara is a full-time mom to two energetic tweens, juggling her household with a mortgage, a pool service, and a gardener. When we gather at Tara’s place, we indulge in decadent five-course meals, and her daughters strut around in designer clothes. Her kitchen radiates warmth, a perfect spot for sipping coffee and tackling life’s little challenges together.

Meanwhile, Tara dreams of my life. She longs to be a working mom, to earn her own money, and to enjoy those lunch meetings filled with martinis and lively discussions. She wants the freedom to pop a frozen dinner in the oven without guilt.

As for me? Sometimes I yearn to rewind to my teenage years and start fresh.

This cycle of wanting what we don’t have seems eternal. Since time immemorial, with some women blessed with curves and others with height, we’ve all wished to embody someone else. It’s a universal struggle—whether it’s that enviable tax bracket, the chic restaurant, the stunning outfit, or the charming partner by our side.

Embracing Our True Selves

So how do we embrace who we are instead of always aspiring to be someone else?

Mia’s mother is a renowned journalist who leads a glamorous life, having raised Mia alone after an early divorce. In contrast, Tara’s mother dedicated her life to homemaking, creating a welcoming space for neighbors to gather. My own mom entered the workforce when I was 12, imparting numerous domestic skills, even if I only occasionally used them. And I always made sure to wear proper clothing when driving the kids to school—after all, who wants to be caught in just a robe?

We absorb lessons from our mothers, both in what they say and what they do. I watched my mother care for my father and learned the importance of keeping certain thoughts to myself. I remember her gentle kiss goodnight and her advice that couples should never go to bed angry.

Yet, we also learn that life is fluid. With each passing decade—some sultry, others bold—we pick and choose what resonates with us, discarding what doesn’t. The evolution of women speaks volumes: In the ’20s, we gained the right to vote; the ’40s saw us entering the workforce; the ’50s brought us back home but with renewed pride; the ’60s sparked rebellion with bra burnings; the ’70s ushered us into offices fighting for equality; the ’80s were marked by the rise of super-moms; the ’90s found us advocating for reproductive rights; and now, in the 21st century, we are poised to be leaders and change-makers.

As women evolve, our daughters do too, and they, in turn, shape the next generation. It’s a slow yet beautiful process. How many of us can see traces of our grandmothers in our daughters? A glimpse of our mothers in ourselves?

Sophie has often remarked, “I don’t want to be like you,” all while styling her thick, curly hair—a mirror image of mine. As we stand side by side, I notice she has my eyes and smile, and her expressions reflect mine. She may not want to be like me, but she can’t help it! Often, I catch her using phrases I once said, which my mother said before me.

Sure, the words have shifted—“neat” became “groovy,” then “cool,” and now we have “LOL” and “OMG”—but the message remains unchanged. We are all striving to guide our daughters toward a fulfilling life.

Sophie embodies the spirit of the ’60s, the confidence of the ’80s, and the awareness of today’s world. She is undoubtedly a blend of me and my mother, yet distinctly her own person.

This article was originally published on Oct. 10, 2015.

If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this post on intracervical insemination. For more resources on artificial insemination, visit Make A Mom, and for excellent information on pregnancy, see the NHS site.

In summary, the journey of motherhood is filled with reflections of our past while we navigate our present. Each generation learns and grows, creating a tapestry of experiences that shape who we are.