My partner and I welcomed our little girl, Lily, into the world this past May. She’s an absolute joy, but let’s be real—parenting a newborn is a whole new level of exhausting. It’s draining, mood-altering, and sometimes makes you question everything in life. To add to the chaos, people often ask some truly absurd questions about our baby. Although their intentions are good, after a sleepless night, I can’t help but feel a bit snarky.
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“You look so tired. Are you planning to catch some sleep tonight?”
Oh really? Thanks for the reminder! Of course I look tired; I spent last night awake until 3 AM battling the urge to tape a pacifier to my little one’s face. Sleep? Ha! Not for at least a year, my friend. Enjoy your peaceful nights while I juggle diapers and midnight meltdowns! -
“What’s that white stuff on your shirt?”
Spoiler alert: it’s baby vomit. Tomorrow, there will probably be more on my clothes. And if it’s not white, it’s likely a mix of pee and poop. Welcome to parenthood! -
“Does the baby cry a lot?”
Really? It’s a baby! Yes, she cries—pretty much all the time! Hungry, not hungry, bored, tired—there’s no end to the crying. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m the one who should be crying! -
“Are you helping your partner?”
Funny you should ask! Since the baby arrived, I’ve completely forgotten how to care for my partner. Just kidding! She just went through an intense C-section, and I’d never dream of neglecting her. I’m right there with her, cheering her on and doing my best to support her because I saw firsthand how tough it was. -
“Do you think you’ll stop at one kid?”
Seriously? Look at my bloodshot eyes! Asking that question is like asking someone recovering from food poisoning when they plan to try sushi again. Let’s revisit that in a year, shall we? -
“I got a puppy, and it’s been keeping me up at night, so I totally understand!”
(Okay, I know this isn’t a question.) No, your puppy is not comparable to my newborn. You can just put your dog in another room and call it a night. My baby? Not so much. -
“Who does the baby look like?”
At this point, she resembles a tiny, wrinkly potato with big eyes. In a few months, she might look like a miniature Alfred Hitchcock. Honestly, I just know she’s adorable in her own quirky way, and despite the fatigue, I can’t help but adore her.
If you found this relatable, check out our other blog post here.
In summary, while the questions about my baby can be amusing (and sometimes infuriating), they certainly add to the whirlwind of parenthood. If you’re navigating this journey, remember to take it with a grain of salt and a smile. And for those interested in more information about home insemination, resources like this can be incredibly helpful. For a comprehensive look at home insemination kits, visit this site.