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It’s Important to Remember You’re More Than Just a Mom
As a stay-at-home mom, it’s all too easy to lose sight of who you are outside of motherhood. The constant demands of parenting often leave little room to cultivate your own identity. You might excel in the mom role while letting other parts of yourself fade away, only to wake up one day feeling like a shadow of your former self.
When my partner of nearly a decade unexpectedly left me to pursue his own desires, many well-meaning friends advised me to focus solely on my kids, as if that would magically resolve everything. But the truth was, I had always centered my life around them. I vividly recall the moment my partner claimed that my entire identity was wrapped up in being a mom. At the time, I thought he was out of touch; hindsight, however, has a way of revealing the truth.
Reflecting back, I see how my life revolved entirely around my children. Each piece of my identity was tied to ensuring they had the best upbringing possible. When I looked in the mirror, I hardly recognized the woman staring back at me—she was just a mother, not an individual. It became clear that to truly thrive, I needed to reclaim my identity, not only for my own sake but also to show my children the importance of self-care.
My journey to rediscover myself began with some outward changes. I splurged on new makeup, treated myself to a haircut, and refreshed my wardrobe. I committed to daily workouts, even when my kids grumbled about jogging in the stroller. I firmly told them this was my time, and they needed to respect it just as I respected theirs.
For months, I felt like nothing was shifting, but I didn’t let that discourage me. I finally felt empowered to take action and work towards my goals. While there were countless changes I couldn’t control, I realized I had power over myself.
In the evenings, I started writing again. I let my thoughts spill onto the page, feeling a sense of relief wash over me as I prepared for sleep. Rediscovering my passion for writing ignited a spark within me. I carved out moments throughout the day to work on my articles, often reminding my kids that they needed to respect my writing time, just as I respected theirs.
One afternoon, I overheard my 4-year-old son proudly telling a friend at the park that his mom was a runner and a writer. That moment filled me with pride because it showed how my efforts to care for myself were beginning to shape my identity beyond motherhood. He was proud of me and saw me as more than just a mom.
Eventually, my friends began to see me differently—not as a victim, but as someone who was thriving in the face of adversity. They complimented my appearance and expressed admiration for how I was managing everything. Their words meant a lot to me, as I was determined to showcase my strength to the world.
I lost myself in my marriage, but I found my way again. I took back control of my life and recognized my capabilities. Remember, you are more than just a mother. Embrace every facet of who you are.
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In summary, it’s essential to remember that your identity encompasses much more than motherhood. By nurturing your passions and taking time for yourself, you not only enrich your own life but also set a powerful example for your children.