Is There Stigma in Choosing Not to Breastfeed in Public?

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I totally get the movement to make breastfeeding in public more accepted. No mother should feel compelled to hide away in a hot car, cramped bathroom, or any other corner just to avoid judgment from those who don’t understand or are uncomfortable watching a mom nourish her baby.

When I first moved to Atlanta, I reported on a story about a nearby city that prohibited public breastfeeding for children over the age of two. In response, a group of women gathered at city hall to breastfeed their little ones in protest. At the time, I was single and childless, although I was in a serious relationship and looking forward to family life. My relatives were scattered across the country, and my immediate family didn’t provide much exposure to babies. Despite my lack of personal experience, I found the scene of nursing mothers empowering. It didn’t feel strange or off-putting at all; after all, these women had every right to do so.

Fast forward two years, and now I’m married with a baby on the way. I was determined to breastfeed, and I thought, if it had to be in public, so be it. I figured I could manage it discreetly—why deny a hungry baby their meal, right?

But, as it turns out, public breastfeeding just isn’t my thing. I am a bit of an awkward person—maybe even a little prudish. I couldn’t bring myself to expose myself in a crowd. Nursing covers felt more awkward to me than the act itself, and during the early days with my daughter, I found it much easier to breastfeed in a calm and private space. I don’t hold any ill feelings towards those who breastfeed openly; the choice to do so is personal, and I feel a twinge of guilt for not being one of those confident moms who can showcase their breastfeeding skills.

When I was pregnant the second time, I thought I would have to breastfeed in public often, juggling my now-toddler daughter and a newborn. But that hasn’t really happened. My son is a bit of a wiggler, making it challenging to nurse while trying to keep him calm under a nursing cover. Plus, I worry about him being distracted and not getting enough to eat, so I prefer to nurse in a private setting. Our lifestyle isn’t so hectic that I need to feed him on the run. Sure, there have been a couple of quick nursing sessions in the car, but for the most part, I can feed him before we leave and again when we come back.

I wholeheartedly support women who breastfeed in public and cheer them on silently when I see them doing it. They are bold and confident, and I admire that. I’m learning to be okay with my own choice to be more private about it.

There was one instance where everything aligned perfectly for me to breastfeed in public, and ironically, it was in a highly visible spot. After finishing a 5K race in downtown Atlanta, I found myself on the 50-yard line of the Georgia Dome—on the Jumbotron, no less! My husband brought our son and daughter to me, and while he prepared for another race, my son had a complete meltdown from hunger. I quickly found a bench, threw a blanket over my shoulder, and fed him right there. Surprisingly, no one stared or gave me weird looks; people were just going about their business. I felt a surge of confidence and thought to myself, “You go, girl!” I realized I could breastfeed in public if needed, and I’m glad I had that chance.

While I support the normalization of public breastfeeding, I wonder if there should be any stigma attached to those of us who prefer not to breastfeed in public. It’s important to acknowledge that some mothers may want to feed their child in public but would rather do so privately. For instance, in my area, there’s a new shopping center with a dedicated nursing room featuring a TV and child-sized furniture, allowing mothers to keep their older kids entertained while nursing. It’s a wonderful option for someone like me who is open to public breastfeeding but prefers a little privacy.

To sum up, while I champion public breastfeeding, it’s also vital to recognize that some mothers may not feel comfortable doing so. We need more spaces that accommodate both preferences, ensuring mothers feel supported no matter their choice.