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As My Daughter Grows Up and Moves On
Sometimes, I find myself parking far from the entrance just so I can hold my 7-year-old daughter’s hand in the parking lot a little longer. Each time I grasp her tiny, soft fingers, I squeeze them tightly, knowing our days of hand-holding are numbered. Occasionally, I’ll choose a spot across the street, hoping for a few more precious moments together on our walk. But inevitably, as we reach the sidewalk, she lets go and starts to skip ahead.
I can see her wavy hair bouncing as she picks up speed, and even without looking at her face, I know there’s a big smile there. Shuffle, skip. Shuffle, skip. In no time, she’s halfway down the street. I call out, “Touch the hand.” That’s our secret signal that she’s gone too far. She dashes back to me and grabs my hand again.
I seize the moment to connect with her about something that’s been on her mind lately. “You know you can share anything with me,” I say. Without hesitation, she replies, “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I have to tell you everything.” And just like that, I get another glimpse of her growing independence. For me, it’s a balancing act between giving her space and remaining a constant presence in her life.
I understand that as she grows, our conversations will become tougher and those bonding moments will be less frequent—at least for a while. Though she’s still young, I can already sense the challenges of those upcoming years. I remember how hard it was to carve out my own identity separate from my mother’s expectations. I pushed back, built walls, and created distance, only to spend my adult life trying to bridge that gap, seeking a deeper connection. It’s been complicated since my youth, and it still is.
To her, I’m just another hurdle on her journey to independence. Even at this young age, she’s learning to create space between us. Mother and daughter—it’s almost like a natural law. But I also know that she’ll come back to me one day. For now, I hold onto my discomfort while marveling at her journey as she spreads her wings. Whenever I find an excuse to hold her hand, even if it’s just for a moment in the parking lot, I cherish those fleeting instances of childhood dependence and look for ways to keep her close long after the day she no longer skips down the sidewalk.
This article was originally published on Oct. 17, 2015. If you’re interested in parenting insights, check out this related blog post on our site.
Summary: Parenting comes with its joys and challenges, especially as children grow more independent. A mother reflects on her relationship with her daughter as she learns to balance between holding on and letting go. These moments of connection, however fleeting, are cherished as they navigate the path of growing up together.