The ATM at the local convenience store is just a stone’s throw from my parked SUV, which is nestled right outside the entrance. It’s a Thursday morning at 9:45 a.m., that sweet spot between the breakfast rush and lunchtime, so only a few other customers are around—some filling up their tanks, others darting in for a quick coffee or energy drink.
I’m faced with a dilemma: Should I wake my two kids from their peaceful slumber in the backseat, unbuckle them, and navigate the chaos of getting them into the store for a 13-second transaction? Or should I leave them snoozing safely, lock the doors, and use the remote to keep the air conditioning running while I sneak a glance from the window?
I’ve thought about this scenario countless times but have never actually gone through with it. The thought of simply running in to grab a forgotten item while they sleep sounds so tempting. But every time, I hesitate, worrying that my older daughter might wake up and notice I’m gone, or that the car could somehow overheat, or, worst of all, that someone could steal my vehicle with my kids inside.
But the most significant reason I hold back? The dread of being judged by a stranger who might see my kids strapped in their seats through the tinted windows. What if they scold me for putting my children at risk? Or, even worse, what if they call the authorities to report my “neglect”?
Sitting in the driver’s seat, I realize how much the fear of being labeled a bad mom by complete strangers influences my parenting decisions. So, I can’t help but wonder: What kind of parent would I be if no one was watching?
Honestly, I’m curious. Would I be the kind of mom who lets my older daughter munch on a banana without weighing it at the grocery store? Would I skip the forced small talk with my uninterested infant just to entertain random onlookers? Or would my choices be even bolder? Would I sip a glass of wine while nursing my hungry baby in a bustling restaurant? Would I confidently switch to formula instead of enduring those exhausting months of exclusive pumping to avoid judgment? If I’m being completely honest, I’d say yes to all of those scenarios. And if no one were around, I wouldn’t even feel guilty.
So why do I let strangers dictate my choices as a mother? It’s not just a single reason; it’s a mix of factors that make me second-guess myself. We live in a world where parents are judged constantly. There’s always someone ready to point out that we’ve made the wrong call, that they know better, and that there’s always a “right” way to do things, which just so happens to be the choice we didn’t make.
Additionally, a judgmental stranger only sees a moment of my parenting journey, not the whole beautiful story. It’s why I find myself glancing over my shoulder when I hand my phone to my daughter during a restaurant meltdown or allow her to indulge in fast food at her dad’s softball game. I’ve always vowed not to become “that” parent, yet I still fear the judgment that comes with those fleeting decisions. It’s irrational, I know, but the reality is that the fear of criticism weighs heavily on my choices.
As I rush into the convenience store and quickly punch in my ATM request (fast cash, no receipt), I find myself anxious for the entire two minutes—not about my kids safely tucked away in the backseat of an air-conditioned car, but about the person parked next to me who might discover my secret. If she weren’t there, I’d feel totally at ease with my decision. But she is, and suddenly, that distance feels vast. Once again, I’ve let an unaware stranger hold sway over my choices, making me feel bad about them.
It leads me to ponder: If a mother leaves her child in a securely locked car and no one is there to judge her, does she still question her decision?
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In summary, we often let the fear of judgment from strangers influence our parenting choices. It’s crucial to recognize that our instincts about what’s best for our children matter, regardless of outside opinions. After all, every parent has their own unique journey.