I never intended to be a strict mom. My goal was to embody the picture of serenity—an understanding parent who never needed to raise their voice, one with infinite patience. Despite knowing I might never achieve this ideal, I aimed high, hoping to cultivate a nurturing environment for my children.
As my kids transitioned into toddlerhood, I genuinely endeavored to remain the most patient version of myself. I listened carefully as they explained why they decided to flush their washcloth down the toilet, and I refrained from rolling my eyes when they deemed my homemade tacos “disgusting”—even though they had requested them. I allowed them to snuggle beside me in bed, as long as they attempted to fall asleep on their own.
I thought I was doing everything right. I wanted my children to understand that they were deserving of kindness and respect, even at a young age. I aimed to treat them with the same decency I would offer any other person. Little did I know that this approach would backfire spectacularly.
One day, during an argument over her desire to watch YouTube videos on the tablet, my daughter’s incessant complaints opened my eyes to a harsh reality. My efforts to be the “nice mom” had inadvertently encouraged a sense of entitlement and a lack of respect in my kids. That realization hit hard.
From that moment on, everything changed. No longer would I entertain their flimsy excuses for not completing chores or cleaning up after themselves. If they splashed water all over the bathroom floor? Instead of calmly explaining why that wasn’t acceptable, they would now face an early bedtime. How do you like them apples?
Privileges were revoked, toys were confiscated, and the television was turned off more times than I could count. I had unleashed my inner tough-love mom.
I didn’t want to become a strict disciplinarian, handing out consequences like candy at a parade. It’s certainly not the most enjoyable part of parenting. However, I realized that if I didn’t put a stop to the entitlement, my children would grow up to be those kids at the playground that no one wants to be around. I had to make a choice: either raise kids who had no friends or instill some boundaries as their mom.
Acknowledging that I had been a pushover was a tough pill to swallow. I genuinely believed I was doing right by them, but it turned out I was not acting in the best interest of our family. Coming to terms with the fact that my overabundance of patience might have been hindering their growth was challenging. It’s never easy to admit when you’re wrong, and being a stricter parent isn’t simple either. However, it’s even more difficult to recognize that you’re not providing the best upbringing for your kids and refusing to adapt.
I made the conscious decision to change my parenting style to influence theirs positively. We’re all still navigating this new phase of our lives. I’m gaining confidence in not tolerating their misbehavior, and they’re learning to show respect for myself, our home, and their belongings. They now take me seriously when discussing consequences. While there may be times when they don’t exactly like me, their morning cuddles reassure me that I must be doing something right.
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In summary, my journey from a soft-hearted mom to a tough-love parent was not straightforward. It required self-reflection and a commitment to change, but I am now fostering an environment where my children can grow into respectful individuals who understand the value of responsibility.