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Wishing Time Would Slow Down: A Parent’s Reflection
With five kids bustling around, chaos is a constant companion in our home. We often find ourselves juggling schedules, attempting to get everyone to sit together for meals, and wishing for just a few moments of quiet. You might think that having one less child at home would bring some relief. If someone takes the 4-year-old for a day, I might feel a bit lighter. But then there’s the 14-year-old, who’s starting to explore the world beyond our walls and is frequently out and about.
We are entering a new chapter where every activity seems to lead into the next. We pick her up from play practice, only to drop her at a friend’s house shortly after. She hops from the mall to a movie and then to a sleepover. Sometimes, she even balances babysitting gigs to fund her shopping sprees. When she’s home, her room has become her sanctuary, and she often disappears for hours, only emerging when hunger calls. It doesn’t really matter where she goes; the result is an often daughter-free zone, and I feel the pangs of missing her even when she’s just in the next room.
As I look ahead to the next four years, I can’t help but feel they will fly by. I want to hold onto these moments and slow down time, but I see the eagerness in her eyes, signaling that there’s no turning back. Soon enough, she will be a summer guest in our home rather than a daily presence at our kitchen table. How do I even begin to prepare for that? Just thinking about it makes me feel nostalgic.
The bittersweet part is that just as she’s becoming more independent, she’s also becoming more enjoyable to be around. She’s developing into this remarkable individual who shares her insights and occasionally offers fashion advice that I actually consider. Most of the time, she’s a helpful and productive member of our household (well, she is still 14, after all). She laughs at my jokes and can engage in meaningful conversations with my husband about the music he loves, making me feel less out of the loop. Watching them bond brings tears to my eyes because I already miss her even before she leaves.
Tonight, as I sit in my quiet home, I’m struck by how fleeting this time is. This young woman, who made us parents, won’t always be under our roof. I remember the day she was born; my mom exclaimed, “Don’t you just LOVE her?” Yes, a thousand times yes. That moment shifted everything for me, and I don’t want it to change again. I thought that having a big family would lessen the pain when one child leaves, but it’s clear that’s not the case. There she is, peacefully sleeping in her bed, and I can already feel the ache of missing her.
For now, I’ll treasure the moments we have together and strive to be as present as possible in order to slow down time. I’m making a promise to create lasting memories with all my kids, knowing each one will bring their unique changes as they transition out into the world. I want to share family time just as my parents did, even if it sometimes prompts eye rolls (I suspect those are just for show—who wouldn’t want to hang out with us?). I cherish the memories of growing up, where we all spent time together playing cards or going out for meals. I want that for my little family, too. If my daughter wonders why I’m holding her a little closer, saying no a bit more often, and giving her extra hugs, I’ll explain that it’s simply because I already miss her.
This article was originally published on Oct. 24, 2015.
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Summary
Navigating the chaotic joys of parenthood with five kids can be overwhelming, especially as one child begins to spread her wings and venture into the world. As she grows more independent, her absence is felt deeply, highlighting the bittersweet nature of watching children grow. While cherishing family time becomes increasingly important, the author reflects on the fleeting nature of childhood and the bittersweet realization that their daughter will soon be more of a guest than a fixture in their daily lives.