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Finding the Right Age: A Personal Journey
I vividly remember my early teaching days. I was in my 20s, newly engaged, a proud homeowner, and managing a rowdy bunch of sixth graders during Halloween. Dressed as various characters—think Bart Simpson and inflatable wrestlers—I was the costume contest judge and desperately needed a drink.
As with most school events, parents were hovering around, trying to remain invisible to their teens. When I reached for a cold beverage from the “teacher” cooler, a voice piped up beside me, “Those are for the teachers.” It was a father of one of my students.
“Oh. Um.” That was all I could muster, staring at this unfamiliar dad. After a moment, I introduced myself, and he said those familiar words: “Sorry, you look so young. I thought you were one of the kids.”
At first, I took it as a compliment. Back then, my skin was smooth, and there were hardly any gray hairs to be found. But as I transitioned through my 30s, the same comment took on a different tone, especially when I became a school administrator. Hearing “you’re so young to be a principal” felt like a signal of my inexperience. I often wondered if parents were considering whether to address concerns with me or escalate them to someone else. If I were in their shoes, I might have done the same. I found myself wishing for a few more gray hairs to add to my credibility.
Over the years, colleagues would say I was “wise beyond my years,” which I took as a compliment, too. Yet, I often pondered: when would my age match my wisdom? Would it be in my 30s? My 50s? Can’t I be thoughtful and savvy regardless of my age? Does wisdom only come with the gray hairs of old age?
Now, at 38, I’ve made a surprising choice: I left my job. After three years of late-night emails and juggling family obligations, I realized the stress, long commute, and pace were unsustainable for my family. While I love working with kids and teachers, the toll became too much, and I needed to take a step back. The decision felt both right and completely wild.
Suddenly, I find myself in a new conversation about age. Friends joke about my “retirement” and ask what my next steps are, as if staying home with my 8-year-olds isn’t an option. I wish I could say I have grand plans—writing a novel, leading the PTO, or volunteering somewhere meaningful—but honestly, I’m unsure. And while I cherish this time to reconnect with my kids, invest in my marriage, and explore my interests, I also feel the weight of uncertainty.
I know I’ll return to work eventually, but I worry about how long is too long to be out of the workforce at my age. When I do re-enter, will I be competing against younger candidates who have experience but not necessarily wisdom?
Sure, feeling “old” is unavoidable, even if my skin remains youthful. But age is also a mindset. While I might be approaching 40, I still embody the confidence and competence I had in my 20s. Therefore, I’ve decided to focus less on the potential challenges of re-entering my career and more on the valuable lessons this unexpected detour offers.
It turns out that sometimes, the unplanned paths we take are the most enriching parts of our journey, no matter our age. We just need to embrace the twists and turns when they appear.
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Summary
Navigating the complexities of age in personal and professional life, the author reflects on experiences that shape perceptions of wisdom and maturity. Leaving a job has led to new conversations about age and future aspirations, emphasizing that unexpected detours can lead to enriching experiences at any stage in life.