Let’s get one thing straight: my son is in kindergarten, and for his age, his project was actually pretty awesome. It was a little-boy creation filled with excitement and effort (yes, I might be a tad biased). However, having gone through the ups and downs of parenting with my oldest—who is now 10 and convinced he knows it all—I’ve learned a thing or two about letting kids do their own work.
When it comes to homework, I’ve realized that doing it for him isn’t an option. I used to be that mom, hovering over him, insisting everything be perfect, but I’ve changed my approach. It took way too many late-night battles over spelling and the realization that common core math was making my head spin to get to this point.
So, when my youngest had his first poster project on what he wants to be when he grows up, I knew I had to step back a little. Sure, I could have gone all out—visiting fire stations, snapping photos, and meticulously creating a Pinterest-worthy display. But let’s be real, that’s a lot of work for me, not him.
Instead, we sat down together one Sunday afternoon to brainstorm ideas for his poster. “I want to draw pictures, Mommy,” he said, and I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. We pulled out the crayons and colored pencils, and I guided him through the process, helping him brainstorm and offering assistance when needed. I even drew a fire hose that, well, let’s just say didn’t quite turn out as intended. But in just 30 minutes, he was done, and we were both proud. He’d done the work, and his teacher even thanked him for his effort!
After the presentations, I couldn’t help but notice the other kids’ projects—perfectly straight rows of tiny papers and meticulously crafted posters. For a moment, I felt a pang of guilt, wondering if I should have done more to help my son create something that looked as polished. But then I reminded myself: what he created was his work, not mine. He made the decisions, and that’s what truly mattered.
Next to the other kids’ projects, his may not have looked as impressive, but when he faces future projects in 5th grade—like a last-minute science experiment—he won’t think I’ll swoop in to save the day. I’m teaching him from the start that he has to take responsibility for his work.
It’s expected that we help our young children more than we do as they grow, but I’m laying the groundwork now. I’ll offer support, suggestions, and guidance, but ultimately, the work is theirs. They don’t turn in my assignments, so why should I do theirs? They need to learn the value of their own efforts.
My little guy rocked his age-appropriate project, and that’s the lesson he needed—not one that suggests, “Mom will do it for you if you get stuck.”
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Summary
This article highlights the importance of allowing children to take ownership of their projects and learning. While it’s tempting to step in and make things perfect, it’s crucial for kids to learn through their own efforts. The author reflects on the balance between guiding and allowing independence.