We’ve all experienced those chaotic moments of motherhood, trying to meet the expectations of family and society. Then, one day, you glance in the mirror and think, “Who is this person?” You’ve been so overwhelmed that you’ve lost sight of yourself—the individual who once had everything figured out, the go-to person for advice on balancing it all.
As mothers, it’s easy to put ourselves last, believing that’s what a dedicated mom does. We pass up on those stylish shoes we’ve been eyeing because our child needs yet another shirt they’ll outgrow in a week. We skip our gym sessions, opting instead to spend every available moment with our kids. We often find ourselves eating in a rush, neglecting personal care (yes, it’s true!), and filling our calendars with kids’ activities and playdates.
Why Do We Do This?
For starters, our love for our children is profound, making it only natural to prioritize them. Plus, we’re constantly bombarded with images of perfect Pinterest moms and articles urging us to “lean in.” But what happens when you lean in too far and risk falling over? In our attempts to meet these unrealistic standards, we often lose sight of the most important person—ourselves.
For a time, I lived in this stressful cycle. During the moments I spent with my kids, my mind was elsewhere, consumed with other responsibilities. My husband and I became more like roommates than partners, and my passion for work dwindled. I was sinking—gaining weight and questioning my purpose.
Making a Change
Eventually, I decided that finishing last in this race was no longer acceptable. The stress I was carrying wasn’t helping my family or me. To be a good mother, wife, friend, and person, I had to prioritize myself. I needed to reconnect with who I was and who I aspired to be.
Once I identified the issue, I knew I was the only one who could make a change. So, I chose to put myself first, which ultimately allowed me to better support my family. I discovered that my kids were perfectly content with just one activity instead of three. I set boundaries for work hours, and when those boundaries were challenged, I found a new job that fit my life better. Even though I had to dip into my 401(k) during this transition, it proved to be worth it in the long run.
Reconnecting with Family
To reignite my connection with my spouse, we instituted weekly movie nights after the kids went to bed. We made a point to sit down for meals together, leading to more meaningful conversations. It sounded like a dream, right? I committed to exercising two to three times a week, which became a part of my routine. I even allowed myself guilt-free Sunday afternoon naps. Now, when I’m with my family, I’m genuinely present and enjoying every moment, and they are too.
Finding Support
I understand that if you lack a strong support system, making these changes can feel daunting. However, you can find neighbors or friends who also crave “me” time. When my partner traveled for work, I teamed up with a neighbor in the same boat. We took turns watching each other’s kids and cooked extra meals to help each other out. Even just sharing a glass of wine while our kids played was a refreshing break.
Small Changes, Big Impact
Small changes can lead to significant improvements in your life. As you start prioritizing yourself, it becomes easier to embrace that role. Focusing on your own needs will only enhance your abilities as a mother, wife, and friend. You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else, so go ahead and start choosing you.
Additional Resources
For more insights on home insemination, check out this helpful resource from Cleveland Clinic. Additionally, if you’re interested in learning about the process, visit BabyMaker for more information. And don’t forget to explore the tips available at Intracervical Insemination.
Summary
The journey of motherhood often leads us to prioritize our children over ourselves, causing us to lose our sense of self. By recognizing the importance of self-care and making small adjustments in our lives, we can reconnect with who we are and become better mothers, partners, and friends. Happiness is within reach—choose to put yourself first.